Cynic Meets Sunshine Podcast
Join us, Andre and Tanisha, a married couple of 26 years, as we share practical advice, honest stories, and plenty of laughs about building a strong and fulfilling relationship. With five kids, three grandkids, and nearly three decades of ups and downs, we’ve learned a lot about love, life, and weathering storms together. Tune in for real talk, relatable insights, and actionable tips to strengthen your own relationships—because nobody’s perfect, but together, we can all get better.
Cynic Meets Sunshine Podcast
Beyond the Surface: Real Talk About Sex, Love, Kids, and Connection
Ever wondered if your relationship differences actually make you stronger? Join Andre and Tanisha as they take you on an intimate journey through the balancing act of marriage, parenting, and personal growth in this refreshingly candid episode.
We kick things off with exciting updates about our upcoming Miami Pro competition trip, where we're turning what could be just business into a family adventure with our youngest kids. This perfectly captures our philosophy: even while pursuing personal goals like bodybuilding prep, family connection remains central. Our hilarious recounting of our recent SeaWorld expedition—complete with both of us pushing through injuries—reveals how our perspective on experiences has evolved with age (hello, VIP passes and cabanas!).
The conversation takes a thought-provoking turn when we discuss our unconventional family bonding over Dexter and our parenting approach of radical honesty. That third-grade "what is 69?" question might make you cringe, but our experience reinforces why creating an environment where kids can ask anything is crucial—they're hearing these things at school regardless.
Our "Cynic versus Sunshine POV" segment dives into relationship fundamentals: Is love a choice or feeling? Should honesty trump kindness in arguments? The surprising revelation: we agree far more than we disagree, despite our contrasting personalities. Most controversially, we both firmly believe spouses should prioritize each other above children and careers—a perspective that challenges modern relationship hierarchies.
Whether you're navigating the complexities of long-term partnership, raising honest kids in a complicated world, or simply enjoying the dance between differing perspectives, this episode offers both practical wisdom and heartfelt laughs. Subscribe now and join the conversation—we'd love to hear how the cynic and sunshine dynamics play out in your own relationships!
Welcome, everybody. Welcome to Cynic Meets Sunshine. We are your hosts. My name is Andre and this is my beautiful wife, tanisha.
Speaker 2:Hey guys, alright, so what have we been up to?
Speaker 1:What's going on in life. Let's see your show's coming up.
Speaker 2:What two weeks yeah, two weeks. This has been like a big part of our life right now, this prepping for my first pro season. As many of you know, we just did our first pro show, my first pro show in Vegas. And I needed to be more conditioned.
Speaker 2:So we came back, dove back into prep and have been really getting after it yeah, you have so now we're two weeks out from going to Miami Pro which I'm so excited about, because we're definitely bringing some improvements, and exciting, because this one gets to be a little bit more of an adventure Vegas was like in and out, in and out, let's go take care of business. This one, we are going to take the youngest two with us. We have been doing this for years and love any time we can take any of the kids with us and make it a little bit more than just like a competition trip, right.
Speaker 1:Like an adventure, a little adventure, a mini vacation, and the kids love it, yeah, so Andre has never been to Miami. The kids, have never been to.
Speaker 2:Miami. I've been only in and out for work once yeah nationals. So we're excited to go see the city. Have fun.
Speaker 1:Like, what are you looking forward to? Um the show, really just seeing you compete on stage. And yeah, as far as like, uh, being in miami, there's not too much, the kids will do something. It's going to be a big fest. What do they call it? Yeah, this one is like a huge fitness fitness expo. Yeah, this has got like everything.
Speaker 2:I think we told you guys last time. It's got like power lifting, dancing I mean ton of stuff and a lot of pros at this one. The last show I did was wellness.
Speaker 1:only this has got your division, so that'll be fun for you. You'll get to see the guys.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that'll be good. Bikini men's physique. It'll be a really, really big show. I think the kids will enjoy it also. But we were just talking about how we try to make the most any time we get away from home, like turn it into an adventure where we've been planning this trip for prep, but we're like you know, how can we go and make memories with the kids and make this fun for everybody?
Speaker 2:And it's like always nice when you get to explore a new city, get away from home or getting away from our normal day to day, and even though it's like down to business and we've got an agenda and we're there for something specific, I'm looking forward to like going out and trying some new food spots with y'all that Saturday night.
Speaker 1:We've taken the kids to so many national shows in Pittsburgh and they love it. You never really know what the kids are going to, what they're going to pick up as a core memory that they recall, and I feel like we kind of have like Pittsburgh traditions?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we do. We have like our doorstop, yeah, our donut giovanni's for pizza, yeah, yeah, we go for breakfast into it, yeah so they'll enjoy this.
Speaker 1:I'm looking forward to them, um, going out there, all of us being able to be in the stands and watch you on stage. That'll be awesome. Um, and then just having a. It'll be memorial day, so just having a little mini vacation and an adventure with the whole family it's a good way to kick off summer too.
Speaker 2:The kids are done with school. Yeah, it's gonna be nice get away and then we'll be returning to florida like two months later. We've planned a family trip with almost the whole family. We're only missing one of our daughters, who will be in jamaica. Yeah, so she'll be enjoying herself, but we're taking all the grandkids everybody on the beach enjoy ourselves yeah in conjunction with uh.
Speaker 1:Whose birthday?
Speaker 2:is it tiana's birthday we will celebrate tiana's 10th birthday in destin.
Speaker 1:So it should be a lot of fun so we're gonna be doing a couple trips to Florida here and then this weekend was very packed. Oh my gosh, let's see here Saturday morning we get up, as we usually do, take separate cars to the gym, even though we work out together. It's our only day to work out together, but we take separate cars. But wait, what time did you wake up?
Speaker 2:On a Saturday when you couldn't sleep in?
Speaker 1:Yeah. What time did you wake up On a Saturday when you could sleep in? Yeah, what time did I wake up?
Speaker 2:We have to start this Saturday at 5 am. Yeah, because it's the only way we can sneak our gym time in while the kids are sleeping, before all the sports and everything starts. So we wake up at 5 am.
Speaker 1:take separate cars, go to the gym. I get there a little earlier because I have to leave before you and then I have to. We do what we can do together. Then I get in the car, run back home. Andre should be dressed and ready, which he rarely is, so we have to get him ready, get out of here, go to football practice while you finish up at the gym. When you're done at the gym, what are you doing?
Speaker 2:I am meeting our daughter to pick up our grandson because we are going to spend saturday surprising the kids because andre works for usa. Shout out to them they shut down sea world, yeah and had like a huge family day. So we picked up, I went and picked up our grandson family fest day.
Speaker 1:So then, after football practice picked up, we brought andre back home. All you guys were here and we're like, okay, we're gonna. Everyone has about maybe 30, 45 minutes to relax, then we're going to get dressed and we're going to go to the park. We told them and they were like what park Splash pad?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we told them there's a new park that opened up.
Speaker 1:A little ways away. We're going to go to the new park, so they didn't know right up until we pulled up until we pulled up.
Speaker 2:I went the wrong way and I should have went the back exit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they saw that roller coaster and they were like is that SeaWorld? Are we at SeaWorld? Yeah, andre caught on last second.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, that was a good surprise. It was interesting because I am prepping for a show and because of that and because how I'm trying to make these rapid changes, my diet has had zero carbs, so I was just like totally trying to mentally prepare myself for this day at SeaWorld zero carbs, have energy for my precious energetic grandson and our youngest two kids walking SeaWorld in the heat and just having a great attitude about it but it ended up not being bad at all.
Speaker 1:How long did we? Stay, we stayed longer than we thought, because we didn't get home. I thought we would stay maybe three hours.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, we ended up staying longer than we thought. We did a little bit in the park, and then we spent most of our time at Aquatica.
Speaker 1:Yeah, in the water park. Water park was a lot of fun. That was necessary because it was hot.
Speaker 2:It was, it was hot. It was, it was hot. But I was just laughing because it's like us going to an amusement park in our 20s with our kids, when we were first starting out a lot different opposed to now, a lot different than now actually hilarious.
Speaker 2:Like andre has an achilles tendon issue that he's been struggling with for like the past three weeks, I have a herniated disc and I had tweaked my back last week, so both of us are at sea world walking with the kids with injuries pushing through we made it work we made it work, but it's like I was telling andre.
Speaker 2:I think I'm at a stage now in life I don't know about you guys, but like the older I get, the more willing I am to like pay for convenience. Yeah, like, where's the fast pass? Yes, where's the VIP? Where's the cabana?
Speaker 1:like this is too many people.
Speaker 2:Yes, I want to spend the day at SeaWorld, but not the way I did when I was 20, and I'm like, yeah, let's go, let's spend all day, wait in line for 20 minutes, let me have the. I would like the fast pass, please. I want to get straight up in line. Where's the shade shade? Where's the menu? Where's the VIP line? Same way we do Disney now Like we plan it out so that we can like maximize our time and we're not standing in line. But you know, I don't know if y'all can relate with that too.
Speaker 1:But the older I get, I literally convenience I will like. Time is everything. I will pay for those. I will pay for convenience for sure.
Speaker 2:Yes, I don't know when I became this bougie, but it's like I need the vip sea world experience no, it was fun though it was a good time. Kids had a blast warm out we spent maybe five hours there yeah, five hours because it closed at seven.
Speaker 1:I think we left at six, but that was a good experience then it was good we came home um, everyone was dead tired. Everyone took showers and then we laid in the living room and watched our family show Dexter.
Speaker 2:Oh, no judgment, because it's definitely not a family show.
Speaker 1:No, it is not appropriate for kids. And how did this become our family show?
Speaker 2:Okay, so first of all let me backtrack by.
Speaker 1:We are so late on shows, like andre, and I will wait years and watch like breaking bad we watched the game of thrones game of thrones like 10 years after it came out and we're like what is this about?
Speaker 2:we just binge and then we love it, but we're so late on everything, so we had never seen dexter and I don't even remember how it came up and I wanted to watch it.
Speaker 1:He one of his friends.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So we watch it. Andre and I are like into it, but then we're shook because it's like strippers sex murder.
Speaker 1:Every episode and cussing this is in every episode.
Speaker 2:It is so we have become like very efficient with the remote. Yes, so we're pausing.
Speaker 1:One parent has to be on remote Monitor. Yeah, pausing. One parent has to be on remote monitor. Yeah, if you leave to go do something in the kitchen, you have to hand the remote to me and I'm on duty.
Speaker 2:Okay, I've got it. Yeah, like for sex scenes, whatever, and it's like you're probably thinking, well then, why watch this with your kids? That's a good show but, we are loving the storyline. It's a like a murderer, but with a moral code. Yes, he kills bad guys. So we're just like I don't know. We're really all taken by this.
Speaker 1:We're in season. We just started season seven, so season six was heavy in. Uh, they were always in the strip, the strip club, so there was a lot of pausing and fast forwarding that whole season. But we're now in the last season so it's getting exciting and we're looking for a new show. So if you guys have a good family show doesn't have to be as inappropriate as dexter, but if you have a good family show shoot it our way, we'd love to yes well, our other one is, uh, the last of us.
Speaker 2:We're watching that one.
Speaker 1:That one's a good one I hate having to wait every week for a new show. Yeah, I like the fact that there's eight, eight seasons of this show and we sit there and we watch. Sometimes on saturday, when there's two or three hours, we will watch and then. And then the kids will be like, okay, I'm going to go outside and play now.
Speaker 2:Can y'all pause it? Yeah, we're like, all right, we're done.
Speaker 1:And tell me about what happens if you don't pause it and you have to keep watching.
Speaker 2:But I will say it sparks some good conversations. We definitely all kind of give our predictions about what's going to happen. We'll kind of debate things that are going on. Andre and I have always with our kids, been very open with them. We talk to them about everything. There's really nothing that our kids are nervous or embarrassed to talk to us about and I will say, because you know if anyone's judging out there, if they are they are, but I will say our kids are very well-rounded.
Speaker 2:Okay, we do not just expose them to bodybuilding and murder shows. I mean, these kids are awesome.
Speaker 1:They're gifted and talented.
Speaker 2:They're straight-A students. They're well-rounded, but I do like the fact that we are so open with them. I think that as parents, you do not realize how much your kids are exposed to, because I know recently Andre and I were just having conversations with Tiana, our very youngest the kind of stuff that is being talked about in your children's elementary school if you don't know it's happening. Your kids are hearing about sex. They are hearing every single cuss word. So if you think watching this show is just like life altering to them and it's the first time they're exposed, you're wrong, because the kind of sexual conversations I guess that are being had at elementary school they were kind of alarming, right it?
Speaker 1:was alarming, but I have a feeling the kids are talking about stuff that they so. A group of five kids are having a conversation and one kid probably knows what he's talking about and the others are just kind of faking it, laughing yeah so we were last year.
Speaker 1:Tiana was in the third grade, um, our granddaughter and our son were all were in the fifth grade, so we're driving all three of them to school. It was one of the mornings we were, uh, we were sharing a car and we were driving them to school and you had I don't remember what we were talking about, but you had mentioned something about yeah, we're really open with you guys and if you guys want to talk about sex or there's something you want to discuss, come to us. If you have questions, come to us and we'll answer them because we don't want them learning from their friends and I had this proud moment as I'm driving on the road and I'm thinking, yeah, we are, we are pretty good.
Speaker 1:You know, pat on our back, we are pretty good parents when it comes to that. Um, we might be screwing them up in some other areas, but we're doing good here. And then you said something to the effect of, yeah, if you have questions, just let us know. And I don't know. I guess I didn't expect anyone to ask, but if anyone was going to ask I would have assumed it would have been the two fifth graders in the class.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, and then our third grader it was quiet for a few seconds Our third grader, tiana. She said I have a question and we're like go for it. And she said what is 69? And I almost spit out my coffee, almost spit out my coffee. Oh my God, Not the baby, I went silent and I just looked at you like where are we going with?
Speaker 2:this. We were like let's not let it show on our face, because you can ask us anything Right, we're calm.
Speaker 1:We just finished telling them you can ask us anything. Yeah, we don't want to embarrass you. What are we doing? Yeah, so we are giving the mildest. Yeah, I don't. I think you might have given her a non-answer, even. I don't remember if we told.
Speaker 2:Well then I was wrong, because I thought we did give her an answer, but a mild answer, because she thought 69 was sex. Yes, but it was just, like you know, another form of sex.
Speaker 1:She has no clue.
Speaker 2:Oral sex.
Speaker 1:What do you mean? Oral sex. That's where I was thinking in my head and that's where I'm shook, like do you introduce the thought? Of this. Even I thought to myself just tell her, it's mutual, it's oral sex Mutual two people having oral sex at the same time.
Speaker 2:So how do you say? And then she's like what is oral?
Speaker 1:sex. What do you mean?
Speaker 2:what is oral sex? So then, what do you say? Sex with your mouth.
Speaker 1:I don't know what you tell your child at that moment. So I'm pretty sure we gave her a non-answer.
Speaker 2:We gave her a little something because we do want to be open. But my point in sharing this with y'all is, if you think your kids are not being exposed, I promise you you're wrong. They just might not feel comfortable telling you because it's embarrassing, it can be awkward. They don't want you to be embarrassed.
Speaker 1:They don't want to be embarrassed. I doubt they're worried about us, but they are hearing these things at school.
Speaker 2:So let them know that those doors are open, because you would rather them learn the truth from you, because the things they're hearing from their friends is often misinterpretation, wrong information she had said they were a lot of the kids were.
Speaker 1:the teacher had someone had said 69 and everyone giggled and then later they were all talking about it and she felt like she was the only one that didn't understand what they were talking about.
Speaker 2:The teacher said 69? Like as in a math sense. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And then everyone started giggling. She was like what's happening? I laughed too, but I have no clue what we're laughing at.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, that was just an interesting little moment that we shared with our kids and we thought, you know, if our audience doesn't know, we should probably let them know that your kids are being exposed to a lot more than you think Definitely talk to them, just like we talk to you guys about talking openly in your relationships.
Speaker 1:Talk openly with your children. Is this your disclaimer for why you should not have anyone in your DMs about you letting your kids watch Dexter?
Speaker 2:People can hit me in the DMs. I mean, honestly, I think we're doing pretty good. I'm looking at my kids and how our grown children are turning out and the things that are happening with my children and the accomplishments that they have, how they're excelling and I Pretty amazing to see that I've got these kids that are like a thousand times better than I was as a kid.
Speaker 2:And it just like blesses my heart. They are in such a different family dynamic than I was, they are in such a different situation and it really, really makes me happy.
Speaker 1:That's what we got going on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was our weekend update.
Speaker 1:As far as me, I just started prep officially. Yeah, we're looking for August, august sometime.
Speaker 2:August, the summer, I don't remember how many weeks out.
Speaker 1:Maybe there might be 16 weeks, I have no clue. But we're starting prep.
Speaker 2:Well, the way you start prep you should probably share is very interesting. Andre has been thinking about starting prep for quite a while, but he needs he's explained to me like this transitional and intermediate phase, intermediate phase well, but he needs he's explained to me like this transitional and intermediate phase, because he cannot just like how I might say like I'm starting prep on monday and I start prep on monday. Yes, he needs like a time to come out of his door, dash yes time to come, I wean everything down.
Speaker 1:I weed everything down your dr pepper is gone no more. I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 2:I haven't seen your Dr.
Speaker 1:Peppers. It was a while. I mean, it was like every other day.
Speaker 2:Subway was at the door, bk. I'm proud of you. He even messaged me he's getting his steps at work.
Speaker 1:Big old building at USA. Hey, we got to be there, so why not? So every hour I'm getting up and I'll take like a 10-minute walk. The other day I just took three 15-minute walks. That was like three miles.
Speaker 2:How many steps did you say?
Speaker 1:10,000.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 10,000 just from work. Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1:Just from taking those three to four walks. I mean, the building is large, it's like I can walk a mile.
Speaker 2:And your check-ins reflect it, because you were down like two pounds today. Right, we'll take it, we'll take it.
Speaker 1:So we take yeah, so we'll just keep chugging along. Um, so we'll say I'm officially in prep, unofficially, probably a month into prep, but officially uh, we just started prep so as I end my season, yeah, you'll be like in the nitty-gritty of yours that's all right, you'll be there. You'll be there to help out I sure will.
Speaker 2:Okay, I've had amazing support. I'll definitely be right there all right.
Speaker 1:So today we thought we would do things a little different. We're going a little different route and instead of giving you bullet points and a lesson plan and practical tips, we thought let's just have fun. Let's just have a segment, or we do a little intro a little longer and just have fun, because in a marriage, that's what that's what it's all about. Right, you have to do the work to make your marriage last, but it should be fun.
Speaker 2:It should be, and a lot of times the work is fun, like the dates, and it's just it's just making sure you're you're taking care of business.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But, like you said today, we kind of just wanted to reflect that sometimes it's like not so heavy, it's just like let loose, enjoy your time with your partner, have fun. Who do you want?
Speaker 1:to hang out with. You want to hang out with people who you enjoy their company.
Speaker 2:They make you laugh it's light-hearted, yes, it's not always heavy. So you know, we just want to show that that is like, at the core, what a relationship should be people that just you want to be together, we're drawn together, we enjoy each other's company and we can just kind of cut up, be ourselves, have have fun. We love to cut up, so yeah, we thought we would just kind of go off the cuff a little bit today and have some fun.
Speaker 1:Let's do a cynic versus sunshine POV. Okay, so we are going to give topics and we're going to go over your point of view. Okay, versus my point of view.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:We didn't discuss these prior because we wanted them to be, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Authentic, authentic, natural.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we are going to go into cynic versus sunshine POV.
Speaker 2:Let's go.
Speaker 1:All right, let's do it. Question number one Is love a choice or a feeling?
Speaker 2:Is love a choice or a feeling?
Speaker 1:What says?
Speaker 2:sunshine. Is love a choice or a feeling? What says?
Speaker 1:sunshine, so sunshine.
Speaker 2:POV, I'm going to have to say love initially is a feeling. When I fell in love with Andre, it's all these very strong feelings of like I am in love with this person, I'm falling in love with this man and then, after years and years especially maybe if it's in a tough time or a time that things are not rosy with us or things are a little bit difficult, we're having to push through Then I feel like love is a choice. So I don't think I could say one over the other. I think it begins as a feeling, but now it's something I choose. I choose to work at our relationship and I choose to foster our relationship so that we can stay in love and we don't fall out of love and we don't grow apart. It's like I think that part's a choice.
Speaker 1:Okay, what do you think? Well, I thought we were supposed to disagree, but it sounds like we agree here, because so I looked it up the word love in the dictionary is a noun and a verb wait, so you prepped I didn't, I didn't give you my prep yes, but I prepped yes, I looked it up in the dictionary I feel like you have an unfair.
Speaker 2:I'm an analytical person, of course.
Speaker 1:I looked it up in the dictionary I looked it up in the dictionary, love is listed as a noun you mentioned early on. It's all about feelings. I'm falling in love with someone, I'm having emotions. It's emotional, but it's also a verb. Okay, so it's the actions that you do. It's that we had a little uh tiff in the kitchen before our podcast and we did the work, the work was had and that's you have. There's actions there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's, it's a choice it is um, so I agree it is a little bit okay, it is it is.
Speaker 1:There is the love that is emotions. But long-lasting, enduring love takes effort and it takes choices, daily choices. I agree okay, so much for, so much for differing opinions, opinions all right. Number two is it better to be honest or kind in an argument?
Speaker 2:Andre's delivery is so important. I have told him through the years like I need you to give me a soft delivery, like do not come harsh, do not come hard, like that's important to me how you speak to me and how you bring me information.
Speaker 2:Important to me how you speak to me, okay, and how you bring me information. But another thing that I think I love, that I know I love so much about you, is it was something that was hard for me to take in the beginning. But you're you're honest and you sometimes it's harsh, but you're so honest that it has caused me to be extremely secure in our relationship and very trusting of you because I know you're going to just tell me how it is, even if it's not always what I want to hear, and I value honesty so much. The sunshine in me wants to say kindness, but what I've learned now, at this stage in my life, I will a thousand percent say honesty because I think I can get over my hurt feelings. But you being honest with me trumps everything.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, I wasn't expecting that, but that's funny because I also I do differ, I think, in an argument we're not just talking about in just day-to-day conversations, but in an argument, I think it's probably more important to be kind because of our, of our experiences, where I'm harsh and it's not well received, and so maybe you've just pounded that in me to where I finally, in an argument, I think it's better to be kind and then we'll get. We'll get to kind and then we'll get to the point, we'll get to the main subject of the argument at some point. But I need to be kind, because if I'm not kind and if I'm just telling, being honest, you're not going to hear it.
Speaker 2:So are you being honest, but with a kind delivery, or are you being dishonest?
Speaker 1:No, there's no dishonest. I'm prioritizing kindness over honesty. That's what I'm saying. Okay, so it's not an either or it's a which. What's one and what's two.
Speaker 2:So what you just said and how you've shifted. Maybe that has caused my answer to be what it is, because your delivery isn't as harsh as it used to be when we were young.
Speaker 1:I can probably say now I value honesty more because I haven't felt that sting in a long time. Can we go back? Can we go back to how you used to be how?
Speaker 2:rough around the edges you used to be.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, that's interesting. Yeah, that is so my default is not what I picked and your default is not what you picked.
Speaker 2:But I don't think I understand how would you prefer to receive? Is not what you picked, but I don't think I understand how would you prefer to receive.
Speaker 1:How would I prefer to receive In an argument? Do I want you so for?
Speaker 2:you, you prioritize kindness. You said.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And would you want me to also prioritize kindness towards you in over honesty? No, I want you to be honest, I don't care if you're. So if I'm mean, it's going to be accepted If you're a spitting viper?
Speaker 1:I don't care. I need to hear what would, because I'll be able to parse through the crap and take the meat of what. Yeah.
Speaker 2:It doesn't matter how the delivery, but you've learned how you operate in a relationship with me.
Speaker 1:Yes Is to prioritize kindness, me to be prioritized kindness over honesty.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 1:Is that what you thought we would? I did not think.
Speaker 2:That's what think. So I don't think so that's interesting.
Speaker 1:All right, should parents be friends with their kids? Okay, this one's definitely for you.
Speaker 2:So should parents be friends with their kids? Because I will be. If there is an attitude, I will be definitely the mom talking about. I'm not one of your little friends.
Speaker 1:I'm not one of your little friends.
Speaker 2:I can say yes, because I don't think it's like a hard and fast, like we're friends and there's no boundaries. My kids are so fun and so funny. You like them as people and I like them as people, like I definitely feel like there's like friendship, like we laugh, we hang out, we talk to each other, we confide in each other. Yes, but there is, there has always been, a level of respect. Even our daughter, who is married to this day day she asked me when she's talking to me. She was explaining a story to me and she asked me can I cuss, can I say a cuss word? And she's a grown adult mother and wife and it was just the cutest thing. Because there is this level of respect. Me and her have this great tight relationship I have with all of our kids and um, but we have this really great relationship we can talk about really anything like really anything.
Speaker 2:There's no boundaries, but there's always still this level of respect that they have towards us as like a mother and father. So I think in in my case, yes, but I would say, don't prioritize friendship over having, like a mother, child boundary, because if you lose that level of respect, I think that that can be dangerous too if you're, yeah, your kids, it'll hurt you as an authority.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it'll hurt you and the relationship in the long run. No, I, I totally agree. So, uh, cynics point of view on this one is I guess, if your kids are older once they start to get a little older, I'm talking it's it's awesome to be their friends, not that and you can be their friends, but when they're younger, there definitely needs to be that I am the authority, I, I, I'm here and I need to be respected and if we fall in line with that, I can be your friend.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was going to say friendly but yeah, but I, I agree.
Speaker 1:I love my kids. They're good people. I like to be around them and hear about their day yeah not at nine o'clock when I'm trying to go to sleep without fail, but I like to hear about their day, and so, yeah, I agree I do kind of disagree with you a little bit though when you were saying when they're older teenagers.
Speaker 2:I kind of feel like that's a stage where so many major life decisions are being made yes sex yes, drinking yes, drugs, all of these things. I feel like there needs to be a really healthy respect for the things that we have to say and the boundaries that we have in place, and trusting and believing in the advice that we have to give yes, so. So I feel like the friendship, yes, needs to be there, but I almost feel like that's a detrimental time for them to understand that parent-child relationship From birth until death.
Speaker 1:There should be the level of respect I don't think there's ever a point that that's not number one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, number one respect. I just think those teen years are so important. Yes, they definitely are. Yeah, I think those teen years are so important. Yes, they definitely are.
Speaker 1:Yeah, All right. The last one is should your partner be your priority over kids, over work, over your career, over your calling?
Speaker 2:This one is controversial. I've seen this one actually online. I'm really curious actually to hear from you guys on this one too, so repeat the question, all right.
Speaker 1:Should your partner be your number one priority over kids, a career your calling.
Speaker 2:I want to hear your guys' opinion and I'm going to let you answer this one first.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think your partner should be your number one priority. Um the the social media clip that I sent you last week I think it was that kind of it's it was, so let me explain what it was. It was a number of interviews where the person was asking list them in order of priority your, your daughter, your mother and your wife.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I can't maybe all men, fairly young men actually.
Speaker 1:Um, and I can't. Maybe all men, fairly young men actually um, and I can't think of one of them. I think all of them listed the wife as either last or second to last they did um, and what were their reasons?
Speaker 1:well, one of them said well, I picked my daughter because she, you know I made her. She's my flesh and blood. And I picked my mother because she made me and my wife, um, you know she can be replaced mother because she made me and my wife, you know she can be replaced one said. Another one said you know my wife, if I pick her second, depending on our standing, and I thought I was just like, wow, so I don't think they've the concept of a partner. A lifelong partner is definitely not something that's getting passed down from generation to generation. That's what I thought.
Speaker 2:What did that speak to you as far as the state of marriages and relationships?
Speaker 1:The guy that mentioned if we're on good standing or she could be replaced. Those two really just took me back for a second Because, yeah, everyone can be replaced if you look at it like that. But I don't know it. Just it's a sad state, right? It made me think.
Speaker 2:There's no real level of commitment.
Speaker 1:It's like there's no commitment, I'm not really.
Speaker 2:It's not death till it's part, it's not through good and bad, through sickness and health. Yes, because if you're looking at it from like, this is my husband for life. This is my wife for life. That most definitely wouldn't be your answer. This is conditionally your partner. This isn't your partner. Through good, bad, sickness health, this is your partner. It depends on the day. It depends on what, yeah exactly so to me that spoke to divorce percentages and numbers big time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, also, I thought when I heard the question I was like, well, out of those three your daughter, your mother and your wife, wife only one of them you get to pick. So yeah, maybe they're picking wrong, I don't know other two.
Speaker 2:You don't have a choice.
Speaker 1:You don't have a choice, you are given a mother and you are given the kids that you, that you know, that you you don't get to your way you kind of get to help mold them and make them. But yeah, they're, you know you get to pick your wife okay, so what about you?
Speaker 2:so you would say spouse first.
Speaker 1:Yes, oh, spouse, and then your kids, and then everything else is. After that, everything else will fall in line yeah my calling and my career. I could create a new career.
Speaker 2:I've never been like so career focused yeah, you know, yeah, where it takes over part. Yes, you've never prioritized it over family.
Speaker 1:It's a means to an end always. Yeah, now for people I can excel and be good at it, but still a means to an end, which you do.
Speaker 2:Yes, which you do. So same question. For me, this is an interesting question because, you know, I would die for my children. There is nothing on this earth that Andre and I would not do for our children.
Speaker 2:So I don't think that this question can always, like fully show the magnitude of what you feel by answering first, second, third and I don't think that it should lessen your feelings for your mom, for your kids, any of that, but you know, andre and I have discussed this before our children. Like we said, we would die for them. This does not reduce my love for them, but I would definitely say my spouse first, because this is the person that I've chose to spend my life with until death. Do us part my children right now. Three of the five are like adults. Two of the five are married and have their own families. This is the person like when everybody's grown it's me and him.
Speaker 2:It's me and you and I will always be there for my children and they know that they are everything to me and I would give my last breath. But if I have to like say the order as well, I would definitely say spouse, children, parents, prioritize. I'm very interested in hearing y'all's take. Give us your reasons behind the choice I think that's an interesting kind of controversial one on social media right now so that that was cynic versus sunshine POV which I feel like we were kind of on the same page.
Speaker 2:There will be some topics where we see things so differently and he's like of course, you're a bleeding heart.
Speaker 1:You're this, you're that.
Speaker 2:And then there's things like this where it's like, okay, wow, we see this very similarly. But honestly, after being with your spouse for a long time probably some of you guys can relate, who've been in long-term relationships you start to really um take on your partners each other's, yeah I mean just like how you've softened up yeah I am not the same person I was at all. I am like it's so much easier for me to be direct now. You know, I've gained so many things that are much more his strengths and personality traits and I think that's where being with opposites can strengthen you as a person.
Speaker 2:Yes, I think it just makes you more well-rounded. All right, a quick this or that. Okay, morning sex or night sex night sex.
Speaker 1:Okay, how about you both? There's no, both. It's either or this.
Speaker 2:I like for different reasons no, okay, oh gosh, okay, I'll say night sex yes okay, uh, pancakes or waffles pancakes, okay.
Speaker 1:What's your waffles?
Speaker 2:waffles okay burgers or pizza burgers okay, okay, you have any rapid fire? Come on Off the cuff. No, you got nothing.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Where is your creativity?
Speaker 1:No, I wasn't prepared to do this.
Speaker 2:Okay, Well we'll end it there. If you guys have any this or that, send them to us and we will add them into one of our episodes. Next episode we'll probably have something put together for you guys. We'll go back to lesson plans. I mean, not necessarily we'll throw in some, some games, but if you guys have any ideas on content or things that you enjoy from us, let us know. Also, we did do a episode on intimacy sex and we had ordered some aria boxes oh, yeah, and those came in, so we'll open those with you guys.
Speaker 2:Unbox them. We have not seen them. So for people who don't know, this is like when we were giving advice on kind of keeping the relationship spicy keeping physical intimacy alive in your relationship. We were thinking of ways that you could do that as a couple, and sometimes fun things are apps and sometimes fun things are games dressing up. But this Aria, I can't vouch for it yet because I haven't even seen it, but but we saw it online and we thought well, let's test it out, this might be a fun way, or who knows?
Speaker 1:I'll read the card you can open, okay this one is heat, okay, I don't know about heat I don't know. Let's see it's a handmade low temperature candle designed for wax play and walks the delicate line between pleasure and pain. I'm not into pain I'm definitely while creating intense sensations on the skin low temp okay what else we got so we'll see that's a maybe go to the massage oil candle this is the massage kissable massage candle.
Speaker 2:So this one melts on you and it's like a massage oil yes, massage oil.
Speaker 1:And then this one is the you and it's like a massage oil, yes, massage oil.
Speaker 2:And then this one is the low temperature wax candle.
Speaker 1:All I see is sheets getting oily and needing towels. Oh see, this is the cynic.
Speaker 2:This is the cynic.
Speaker 1:I'm already thinking like oh, this is fun, just ruined my clothes.
Speaker 2:It got on my shirt when you say low temperature, I'm thinking that's good. Yeah, she's got a little dunk. Yeah, she's got a little donk. Yeah, she does A little BBL back there.
Speaker 1:She's been working on her glutes, so I actually think these are kind of cool.
Speaker 2:I'm like wash the sheets babe.
Speaker 1:Okay, go to the glass pleasure wand. This dual-ended glass pleasure wand has two different textures on both ends and will give you different, yet equally pleasurable sensations. Use it as a massage tool externally, by dragging it along your partner's skin, or let it hit the right spots internally, bringing you toe curling orgasms.
Speaker 2:I am a texture person and when you're saying glass. I just don't know. That doesn't seem soft and appealing. I don't know. I think I'm going to leave that one in the plastic. Why are you going to leave it in the plastic?
Speaker 1:That's cool, it's pretty, that's interesting. You should get a stand and put it right here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that would be an interesting piece when we have company.
Speaker 1:Like what is this? Oh, it's just a sculpture.
Speaker 2:The glass I'm not so sure about. I do think I like the kissable massage oil, soft caramel.
Speaker 1:You like caramel, I do.
Speaker 2:Okay, alright.
Speaker 1:Aria.
Speaker 2:Box number two that we have not seen.
Speaker 1:Wrist cuffs? Is that handcuffs? Oh, so this makes me a little nervous, because you already like to take control. There's cards for all of them. Which one do you?
Speaker 2:got, but this one is wrist.
Speaker 1:Wrist cuff and ankle cuffs.
Speaker 2:So, if you like not being fully in control, Bondage tape. You might enjoy this.
Speaker 1:Let's replay an episode. This might be a little dexterish to me.
Speaker 2:Episode of dexter sensory fingertips no, I'm good well, I kind of have those. I guess if your wife does not have long nails, this kind of helps yeah, give the little, yeah, just fun to maybe have in your little toy box.
Speaker 2:If you do take our advice on having like a hotel date and you get away, might be fun to pack a little something new. So all right, aria, spicing it up for the people we see and these are surprise boxes so you don't necessarily know what you're gonna get so that could be, uh, you know, another level of excitement with your partner you open up and you're like it might totally push you out of your comfort zone, right?
Speaker 1:that's always fun.
Speaker 2:yeah, maybe you guys can compromise. I'm like actually I wouldn't mind trying this one. So there you guys go. That is our fun little update of our week and just a little chit-chat with y'all, and we hope you enjoyed it. If you did, please like, subscribe, share with your friends and definitely shoot us a DM. We want to hear what you guys thought about today's episode and if you want to jump in and answer any of the questions.
Speaker 1:Well, until next time, you guys have a good day.
Speaker 2:See y'all later. See you later, bye, good job baby.
