Cynic Meets Sunshine Podcast
Join us, Andre and Tanisha, a married couple of 26 years, as we share practical advice, honest stories, and plenty of laughs about building a strong and fulfilling relationship. With five kids, three grandkids, and nearly three decades of ups and downs, we’ve learned a lot about love, life, and weathering storms together. Tune in for real talk, relatable insights, and actionable tips to strengthen your own relationships—because nobody’s perfect, but together, we can all get better.
Cynic Meets Sunshine Podcast
Watch Your Mouth: How Tone Changes Everything
"Watch your mouth!" might be the most crucial relationship advice you'll ever receive - and we're not talking about profanity. Andre and Tanisha dive deep into how your tone of voice can either strengthen or sabotage your relationship, with fascinating science to back it up.
Did you know that a staggering 93% of emotional communication is non-verbal? According to the Mehrabian Rule, only 7% comes from your actual words, while 38% is tone and 55% is body language. This explains why saying "What's for dinner?" can either start a fight or a pleasant evening, depending entirely on how those words leave your mouth.
Through candid personal examples (including Tanisha's pre-competition diet affecting her communication), the hosts identify five common tone pitfalls: accusatory tones that trigger defensiveness, sarcastic tones that feel belittling, flat tones that signal disengagement, condescending tones that create inequality, and text message tone problems. They offer practical exercises like the "tone swap challenge" to help listeners recognize how dramatically tone affects meaning, along with repair strategies when tone has already damaged a conversation.
After 26 years of marriage, Andre and Tanisha acknowledge that communication remains their "Achilles heel," proving that tone awareness requires ongoing work even in the strongest relationships. Their vulnerability and practical advice make this episode essential listening for anyone wanting to build stronger connection through more mindful communication.
Ready to transform your conversations? Listen now and discover how changing your tone might be the relationship game-changer you've been searching for.
Welcome everybody. Welcome back to Cynic Meets Sunshine. We're your host, I'm Andre, and this is my beautiful wife, tanisha.
Speaker 2:Hey guys.
Speaker 1:Coming back to you after one week hiatus. Last week was spring break, so we took a break from recording. What do we do, babe?
Speaker 2:It was a pretty chill spring break. Our granddaughter came down from katie and spent the week with us. Um, we didn't really make a lot of plans. We have some fun stuff coming up, so spring break was kind of chill. It's our son's birthday every spring break, so our granddaughter came down, spent the week. We had like a family party for little andre. Really just a lot of quality time family dinners, game nights I love the getting up later than than typical when for sure, like a slow down in the schedule was so nice.
Speaker 2:Like some slower mornings we got to go to the gym and like kind of take our time a little bit everything was for the most part.
Speaker 1:I still had to go to work, but, yeah, we didn't have a rushed morning like we typically do, nice, chill spring break. Speaking of the gym, tanisha is one week out from her pro debut. Next week she will be out there in Las Vegas, nevada.
Speaker 2:March 29th, I will compete in my first pro show. I'm making my pro debut.
Speaker 1:I'm really excited Things are coming together.
Speaker 2:But primarily excited. I wouldn't even describe it as nervous. It feels so new to me, like you know, doing something for the first time no, it's gonna be good.
Speaker 1:You things are coming together. You're looking great, day by day making changes, so I'm excited, very excited.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's been a rough like couple of weeks because we've really been grinding it out to be ready, um. So energy has been a little bit low for me. I've been on the hungry side, the tired side and definitely you and the kids have been like picking up the slack and being so helpful. It has been such a blessing. I feel extremely grateful going into this show for all the support. You, the kids, roland, good, good, they're really good, good.
Speaker 1:Let's get into our topic. So when we started talking about doing a podcast, we took the relationship as the subject. We would be going over marriages and relationship and we tried to break that down into three subtopics, three categories that we would talk about, because we wanted to make sure we had content. We didn't want to do this for two weeks and be like yeah what are we going to talk about now?
Speaker 1:So we, what do we get with it? We call them the three C's Communication. There's connection, which is physical and emotional intimacy, and then there's conflict. So pretty much we could talk four days about something that goes into those three. For sure. Yeah, communication happens to be our Achilles heel, so as as good as I feel we are, it's probably the one area of those three that we could use um the help in the most. So we've done made great strides, but but yeah, it's, it's where we struggle a little bit, right, would you agree?
Speaker 2:I would definitely agree. Communication is the area that we're, like, constantly trying to improve upon, because it's like, like how we said, that's like the key to a successful marriage, the key to us staying happy together, feeling connected, is making sure that we both feel heard and that we understand each other, that we're both listening Right, and this is something that we are trying to perfect, because we have very different styles of communication we do.
Speaker 2:We both prefer to communicate different ways, and I think we're at a good spot right now. I think even doing this podcast is like relationship therapy for us.
Speaker 1:It is.
Speaker 2:Because it's making us even more aware of some bad habits. We have interrupting each other, things like that, and we are being much more mindful of really hearing each other and allowing each other to communicate in our own style and taking the time to really understand. Okay, uh, each other's point and it's it can be tricky. It's a work in progress and I feel like we're getting better and better at it, but this just goes to show like 26 years of marriage and you still should be working at it yeah, you should.
Speaker 1:I don't think we'll ever like aha, we got there yeah we made it yeah we're done.
Speaker 2:I mean you might find your sweet spot from time to time, hopefully, or yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean I think we found a sweet spot now, but it still takes work. It's the work is never gonna be done so that that brings us into our topic for the day. We going to be talking about tone of voice, okay, Say it again yeah.
Speaker 1:Tone of voice. Tone of voice can be like that grenade that goes off, um, and it has a high kill radius 15 meters is more like 30, 45 meters, um, so we don't want that grenade to go off. So we're going to be giving you some tips today to avoid that.
Speaker 2:He hates that word tips, but he always says tips.
Speaker 1:No practical tips. I hate practical tips.
Speaker 2:Yes, we are going to give you guys some advice there, because it is not what you say always, but how you say it. How you speak to someone is about to shape your whole conversation. So if you come with an attitude, be prepared for everything to just blow up in your face. And if you come with correct, with kindness, warmth, then most likely you're going to be met with that as well.
Speaker 1:Most likely yeah, do you have any examples of? Okay, I have a few. Unfortunately, I do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, unfortunately I do, and I definitely will never blame prep or anything. But I will say when you're lower calories, lower energy, you really have to check yourself. Because it's nobody's fault that I'm deciding to diet down right now and get ready for a show.
Speaker 2:However it does affect my mood, and it does affect my energy and sometimes, uh, I will just be a little bit, don't blame prep, don't blame yesterday Andre asked me we both do evening cardio, so we kind of decide who's going to go first, because we both wanted to use the treadmill, yeah. And so he's like do you have cardio tonight? I'm like I have cardio every night, yes, so that was my tone.
Speaker 1:Say it again with that yeah, I have cardio every night. Yeah, because you might have rolled your eyes just like that too, and so my tone and my body language was saying like what a dumb question.
Speaker 2:Like oh duh, of course I do so. Immediately he felt hurt and disrespected because it's like okay, and so I stopped myself there and I realized like whoa, I had a terrible tone and it was not the words that I said, but the way I said it. If I had just said, oh yeah, tonight I do have cardio, babe did you want to go first or do you want me to go first?
Speaker 2:he would have met me back with oh okay, no, you go ahead or I will, and everything would have been smooth. But the tone in which I said, yeah, I have cardio every night just set everything off for him to feel offended and go right into defense mode, right? Thankfully, I was able to backtrack out of that one and immediately, immediately, I did apologize. It stung probably still for a second for them but we pulled right out of that one.
Speaker 1:I had to fight it because I wanted to bark back at you and be like well, I'm going to go watch the show in the room I don't want to sit out here with you.
Speaker 2:It honestly had potential that one thing to ruin our whole night.
Speaker 1:It does and it will. That is what we're going to be talking about tone of voice in communication and how it can build the bridge in good communication or it can burn the bridge in good communication. We're going to start off and talk about the science behind. I'm going to be giving you five scientific factors behind why tone of voice matters. Number one is have you ever heard of the Moravian rule?
Speaker 2:I have recently Okay. Probably not before this week, not before this. Okay.
Speaker 1:Number one is the Moravian rule. This rule states that 93% of communication is nonverbal.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:Okay, so the rule is 7, 38, and 55%, 7% of communication is actual words, it's just actual things that I'm saying to you.
Speaker 1:38 is tone of voice, and then the other 55% is nonverbal. That's hand gestures. You love to talk with your hands. That's hand gestures. That's rolling your eyes. That's facial expression, sighs. 55% comes down to nonverbal communication. 38% is tone of voice, how you're saying something, and then 7% is actual words. That's crazy. It is crazy. The only caveat is a lot of people mistakenly use that rule in talking about all communication. The studies that they did, they were talking about specifically face-to-face communication between two people and in which they're talking about emotions and feeling. So that kind of fits well with what we're talking about here relationships. But but yeah, seven percent is actual words. So that is one factor that tells you it's not what you say, it's how you say it 93 is non-verbal.
Speaker 1:Number two are mirror neurons. These are the neurons in your brain that are going to fire. When, let's say, you took the kids to the zoo and a monkey jumped out of the monkey enclosure and he scared you, and that thing in your brain, the amygdala, is going to fire off and say, okay, this is a threat here, I need to deal with this or I need to fight or flight. So that same thing in your brain happens when you see someone snap at you, when you ask are you doing cardio right now? And they snap at you. So my brain is going to want to mirror that. So if you come to me and you're snappy, I'm going to be, I'm going to snap back.
Speaker 2:I'm going to.
Speaker 1:I'm going to want to bark at you.
Speaker 2:That would be the immediate response. Yes, match your energy.
Speaker 1:We're talking about neurons.
Speaker 2:So we know and this is why I love that you put the science in there we know that that is an immediate response in our brain. So we have to take some responsibility there, like yesterday right, when we had that little incident where I popped back with my tone and it's like you can say, oh, I'm about to want to pop back at her, but you said you stopped yourself yes because your immediate response was you could have got slick with your tongue and we started a whole thing and we're disconnected and it's a whole mess, right?
Speaker 2:but because you know you have those little mirror neurons and you're aware of it now, which is why Andre likes to bring the science into it, to make us aware, so we can make better decisions.
Speaker 1:Yes, so now that we?
Speaker 2:know when we're about to pop back. Okay, I know exactly what this is.
Speaker 1:I know what this is. I recognize this. Let me calm down and think logically.
Speaker 2:My person just had a snappy moment and perhaps if I go ahead and don't match that energy, and. I don't give in to that. I can kind of help them shift out. Are you okay? Are you having a bad day?
Speaker 1:So the mirror neurons help you realize that tone is contagious. So, if you come in with a certain level of energy and negativity, it's probably going to be met. You're going to be met with that same level. So think about that and understand that in yourself.
Speaker 2:Right, because you can literally start like a whole war and set things off just from that crappy tone and because your partner won't always understand their immediate response. They're just going to match your energy, mirror it and then now you're. Everything went left.
Speaker 1:The third one is AI and voice analysis. They are able to use AI. Now They'll just look at a video of a couple and, without hearing the words that are being said, ai is able to detect where there's disconnect, where there's disengagement, where there's anger. If the computers can see that it's all about nonverbal, it's not the words, it's how it's being said.
Speaker 1:Number four is tone triggers for emotional and physiological responses. So this is kind of similar to what we were just talking about how the energy you put out is you're going to be met with that same energy. So if I come to you with a calming tone, with a soft tone, then hopefully, yeah, hopefully it's been your your parasympathetic nervous system is kicked in and that's going to engage trust.
Speaker 1:That's going to engage you to to be, to want to listen and to connect with me. If I have a harsh or angry tone with you, then your amygdala is kicked in and you're going to want to fight. Energy is going to be matched is essentially what this is saying.
Speaker 2:And we know this to be true.
Speaker 1:But it is physiological. So this is things that are happening in your brain.
Speaker 2:Right. So some of these things just spark off with no help at all. It's just how we are wired in our brain to respond to these kind of things, and that's why tone is so important, and I really do believe this is an issue not just for relationships, but this is something you can apply with your children.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:They feel maybe belittled, they feel like their feelings aren't being considered, things like that. There's things you can consider in the workplace with friendships. Tone is a huge part of communication and I think that in any relationship, even if you feel your partner is like the primary problem, you should always be able to check yourself and fix what you can and the only thing that you are truly in control of is yourself.
Speaker 1:And tone is definitely something you can choose to control. All right, the last one was uh, there was another researcher, dr john gottman. Um, he had been doing, um, you know, research on relationships for over 40 years, so longer than a lot of us have been alive, not me, yeah so he's been just he's been studying relationships for a long time, 40 years. What he put out is that negative tones, sarcasm, contempt, criticism, all those create emotional distance, which we can see. That yeah.
Speaker 1:And they're strong indicators for divorce, and soft tones increase emotional safety and lead to better conflict resolution.
Speaker 2:Emotional safety that is so important Like that should not be skipped over. A softer tone with your partner, yes, creates emotional safety vulnerability. That already is going to open the door for better communication.
Speaker 1:I think tone of voice is probably something I struggle with. It's just my default.
Speaker 2:You're just hard yeah, a little bit sarcastic and you're soft.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm very sarcastic, I'm very rough. It's something I have to work on constantly and I hope I'm doing better. Doing the podcast in general has has helped us to to look at ourselves in a lot of aspects and a lot of topics, and I think this is one that okay, I need to watch my tone.
Speaker 2:I agree this has like helped us so much with self-awareness. Yes, and it's like okay, this is definitely just a my tone.
Speaker 2:I agree this has like helped us so much with self-awareness and it's like okay, this is definitely just a small little tweak I can make in our relationship to make things better. I definitely agree that that is huge and all the science behind it is so interesting to me, and I think that that's really helpful also when trying to make changes, because in relationships, wouldn't you agree, we kind of just like get into habits good or bad, right and it becomes our dynamic.
Speaker 2:That's how we talk to each other, that's our thing, that's how we do. And so if you get in these little habits where you and your partner are just snappy with each other, that's just the way you guys communicate, you guys are sarcastic with each other. You have to watch that because sometimes it will just kind of snowball. It's really hard to pull out of that. I was talking to somebody who you know. Them and their partner will pop back at each other a lot. And it's so much of a habit that it's just the natural response now.
Speaker 2:So you really have to make a decision like, hey, do I want to see things change in my relationship for the better? I'm going to go ahead and make an effort here to change my tone and not have our relationship continue down the same path, but totally change. And you can do that in your relationship. You can say we're going to start a new chapter and we're going to revamp things.
Speaker 1:All right. So those are five scientific factors that help you understand why tone matters. Now we're going to go into some common pitfalls that we find ourselves in when it comes to communicating and tone of voice Right. The first one is the accusatory tone.
Speaker 2:Obviously, if you have an accusatory tone towards someone, the first response is going to be what To defend themselves? You're accusing me of something. I'm going to defend myself when if you, instead of being accusatory, pose it as a question. If you do have a question, don't accuse.
Speaker 1:Yeah, don't accuse Right.
Speaker 2:And really just go to the person for answers carefully, softly, gently, and most likely you'll be met with an answer instead of a defense.
Speaker 1:Number two is the sarcastic or dismissive tone. This one's a big one for me, because I just am naturally sarcastic. It feels good to be sarcastic, so it's kind of yeah, just how you your your sense of humor, everything is kind of sarcastic the other day when I came into the room and we were a few hours late, we were trying to get out to the gym. We had to do we had to cook breakfast.
Speaker 1:We had to both do cardio, you know, do check-ins. I came in the bathroom and I smelled bleach and so I was like, well damn, no wonder we can't get out of the house two hours later and you're in there with a toothbrush and bleach, bleaching bleach in the shower right now. Um, I was trying to be funny.
Speaker 2:It didn't come across to you as funny and it started a whole argument so that is sarcastic but also accusatory, because now I feel like you're putting blame on me for being late.
Speaker 1:So then, my response is to defend myself because I'm like okay you went in hard, she went in, she went in, she went in pretty hard. And then I was like I was just joking, I was being sarcastic I'm like what so it?
Speaker 2:it set the tone for a not good yeah, morning conversation and morning.
Speaker 1:That goes back to our communication podcast that we talked on, too, about time and place yeah because it was already like, maybe a high stress yeah, it was stress we're trying to get out of here rushing. Yeah, and you thought it was a great time to, you know, start bleaching the shower. Yeah, I mean, it makes sense, yeah probably bad decisions on both parts. Yeah, okay, all right, all right, that's number two. Number three is a flat or disengaged tone.
Speaker 2:That makes me feel when it's just like a monotone or flat. It's like stop talking. I don't care, and that's hurtful.
Speaker 1:The only thing that comes to mind is, if I'm on the computer doing work I'm working from home, maybe I'm on the couch, I'm editing the podcast and you come in and you want to talk. I'm trying not to engage because I want to continue what I'm doing, where maybe I should, in a nice soft voice, tell you hey, I'm trying to pay attention, or I got this thing I need to prepare for.
Speaker 2:Do you think that that's answering me with? I don't want to talk right now when really you could could just say hey, babe, in a loving way like.
Speaker 2:I'm going to go, I'm going to edit for a minute and then I really would love to talk to you, and that makes me feel like, oh, let me consider his time right now and he cares to hear what I have to say later. I came at a bad time, my bad, but I think one way we've come back that recently, with you working from home or me working from home sometimes you don't realize that I'm busy, or you're busy because we're right here in the house is I've started to ask is this a good time?
Speaker 1:And that's helpful to, I think, determining is this a good time and place to chat? All right. The next one is the parent or condescending tone.
Speaker 2:No one wants to feel like they're a little down to talk, down to small stupid right. Or it's a dumb question. It's like, yeah, there's no need to answer somebody that way at all, because it's either going to cause them to be angry or have hurt feelings, which we don't want either one.
Speaker 1:And then the last one we put on here. Number five was texting and tone. Um and this is huge for us, because in communication I'm a texter I'd rather write all of my thoughts down so I can make sure they're in the proper order, they make sense, one follows the other, it helps, and that way, when I take it to you, I have everything listening, you hit all your points. I hit all my points. You, on the other hand, you don't want to text. No, yeah, we've come to learn that.
Speaker 2:I like a face-to-face conversation. I want to hear the tone, I want to see his face, I want to look in his eyes. That is the best way to communicate for me to have understanding, because I will read his text message completely different than maybe how it was sent I will read a tone in it. I will read just. You know I'll have my own interpretation and I think that is the case for many people. For sure Through text messaging yes, you will insert here your own tone, you know, or insert here.
Speaker 1:Oh, he said this, or you'll infer yeah.
Speaker 2:Read between the lines.
Speaker 1:And it's like no, no reading between the lines, necessary, no inferences, just this is it so our compromise is if we have something, I will write it down, I'll send her the text and then she'll come in and we'll have a.
Speaker 2:We'll have a discussion about it yeah, that way he gets all his points out and we're able to take our two different communication styles, merge them. Like he said, he gets all of his points out. I get to go in there and see the tone in which he wanted it delivered and then we can make sure that we both received it correctly. Text tones it's a little bit different than you know we were talking about. Uh, your tone, your body language, all of that. These are text tones.
Speaker 1:These are, this is text communication, but I still think it falls yeah, the reason we put this one in here is because people text in this day and age, so just keep in mind when you're texting that non-verbal is not there.
Speaker 2:So you, you love emojis I love to throw an emoji all I gotta do is throw an emoji, I'm good. Yeah, that doesn't, yeah, but that does for me, lighten up the conversation. To let you know, hey, I am being lighthearted right here.
Speaker 1:So those were the common pitfalls in tone. Next we have some communication exercise. The first one is a tone swap challenge. Okay, so this is what we want you guys to do. We're we're gonna start it off, yes. And the first one is what do you want for dinner? Let's set the scene. I come home. You've been home all day with the kids. It's crazy.
Speaker 2:Yeah working.
Speaker 1:You got a couple of crazy clients. Yeah, all the pickups trying to do dinner and I come home, put my bag down. The first thing I say is what's for dinner?
Speaker 2:So that tone immediately is going to get the response of excuse me, Hello.
Speaker 1:Would you like to know what I've been doing today? Hello, Opposed to hey babe, what's for dinner?
Speaker 2:Or how about? Hey, babe, how was your day?
Speaker 1:Yeah, same words. In this exercise I want it to be the same words, Don't switch it up. Okay, so when you set the scene next time.
Speaker 2:definitely say hello first, because I think that would be helpful for the gentleman out there, because don't set your bag down and ask what's for dinner, but definitely come in with a little bit of a hello and everything first, and if you're just doing a tone swap then it would say hey, babe, what's for dinner tonight?
Speaker 1:hey, babe, what's for dinner tonight? With a nice smile maybe kiss.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a little season, yeah, a little season on there versus what's for dinner tonight. Yeah, or the tone is like you already are expecting, like I don't mean, you don't look like you're doing anything. You don't look like you have anything put together, what's even for dinner.
Speaker 1:What are you even here for? Why do I keep you around?
Speaker 2:It's like very, very rude and demeaning, and with that tone change it's conveying a completely different message. It's just like ooh, like excited, like inquiring.
Speaker 1:Hey, what's for dinner? Okay, so that's the tone swap challenge. So pick something with you and your person, go through that sentence with the different types of ways you can say it, and then ask them and have them tell you what they feel when you say it.
Speaker 2:that way, and here's one more example too, just to kind of help you. If you're thinking of different situations I know with couples, especially couples with children, if you're running around the house and you're trying to do a ton of things and you see your partner's kind of chilling, okay, and you are fighting for your life, okay, you got to get to work, you're getting all the stuff together and your partner appears that they're just kind of laid back and you really are trying to manage all the things to get out the door right.
Speaker 2:And here's an example where you could check your tone. You look at your partner like, hello, can I get a little help here? It'd be really nice if you could get up and help, Okay. So your partner most likely isn't going to say, oh, yes, let me get up and help you. That's going to have them be that initial response. Right, they're going to defend themselves. I'm trying to also to get. I'm writing an email right now, I'm doing something you know. And then it's an argument where you can say the exact same words. You're around here, You're fighting for your life, You're getting ready. You see your partner and you say, hey, babe, I am struggling to get out of the house right now. Do you think you could help me out with X, Y and Z with the kids really quickly?
Speaker 1:She's struggling Nine times out of 10, 10. That would be met positive, positively like okay, let me let.
Speaker 2:I'm so sorry I was writing this email, but I see you're struggling, let me. Let me jump up and get back to that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or I just scream at the kids get up and help your mother number two is pause and check rule. So we want you to pause before reacting and check your tone before responding.
Speaker 2:So you did that yesterday? Yeah, I did there I did.
Speaker 1:I let you know you were out of bounds. Yeah, I had to fight so that I didn't. I'm also a grudge holder. I had to fight so I didn't hold a grudge against you.
Speaker 2:You did so good. I'm really proud of you because you are a grudge holder, and that caused me to go into an immediate apology and recognize my tone was off.
Speaker 1:Okay, my tone was off. Okay, so that these steps really work, okay. So, speaking of apology, how do they repair a conversation going wrong? So they came in and they had the wrong tone. How do they repair that?
Speaker 2:so you need to acknowledge it.
Speaker 1:Yes, identify it. Number one, number one identify it immediately identify it.
Speaker 2:You need to apologize. Okay, right, and then you need to ask hey, can we get this back on track? Yeah, I was out of line there.
Speaker 1:Okay. So identify it, apologize, apologize, get back on track and then try and get back on track.
Speaker 2:Try and get back on track and keep in mind, like we were saying, even with our misstep yesterday, it still stings for a second. So you're still annoyed. You're only human and you have these emotions and you're annoyed that this person came at you with like this crappy tone. So give a little grace, allow them a minute, say I understand I probably already kind of got you in a bad mood, but I don't want this to ruin our night. Let me go ahead. I'm working on it. I'm working on having a better tone.
Speaker 2:Yeah and hopefully your partner can be understanding that this is a work in progress for all of us. We're not going to be perfect, but we have to give each other some grace, just like we would other people. You should give your partner more grace than anyone when it comes to trying to better communicate. If you see they apologized and they're trying.
Speaker 1:So those were just some communication exercises and get out of jail free card, if you so choose to use it.
Speaker 2:We just wanted to tell y'all watch your mouth.
Speaker 1:Yes, watch your mouth.
Speaker 2:Watch your mouth, watch your tone. It is so important that you really recognize it is not the words you say.
Speaker 2:It is how you say them, your body language. Yes, everything is taken into consideration when your person is looking at you. So if you want to have a happy, successful relationship, you want to have good communication and, most importantly, you want to stay connected with your partner, you need to pay attention to your tone and your delivery, because the tone that I had last night had the potential to totally disconnect Andre and I for the whole evening and thankfully we were able to recover from that and stay connected, using these steps honestly probably because we were working on this podcast.
Speaker 2:So, like I said, this is our relationship therapy and it helped us stay connected the rest of the night and we were able to totally recover from it yeah, no, I think my takeaways are very similar.
Speaker 1:Number one is the 738, 55 rule 93 of communication is non-verbal. So understand that, recognize it, and it is going to help you immensely. And then just understand the tone of voice is going to help you build a bridge in communication or burn it down. So keep that in mind. I don't know yet that we'll record next week because my show weekend we'll see very excited.
Speaker 2:We will be in vegas next weekend for my show. So, yeah, I I highly doubt that we will record, but if we come back and we're full of energy and we're excited, we will jump on here.
Speaker 1:I will I will be taking the camera though.
Speaker 2:I know you didn't like it.
Speaker 1:When I brought up the idea of doing it on location, you were like uh-uh, you don't want the extra stress. Yeah, I don't really want to do it on location because I want to be focused.
Speaker 2:Today this is a time to be focused, but definitely we will get clips for you guys, the journey I will take, the camera. Yeah, we'll update everybody and I think we might, you know, do one when we get home. We'll see. Okay, but what are we talking about next episode? I don't do how to stop having the same fight over and over again.
Speaker 1:I'm not sure we're gonna do that.
Speaker 2:I really want to do uh, in-laws and outlaws, um I want to do one on insecurity and jealousy and how that tears a relationship apart. I see, in so many relationships that ask me for advice, that being just like a cancer.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I think I don't know if that would be worth a whole podcast.
Speaker 1:I don't think so, but we can definitely talk about it for sure.
Speaker 2:I think that that should be.
Speaker 1:I also don't think in-laws and out-laws would be. And when I say in-laws and outlaws, we're talking about outside entities having a voice in your relationship. Too much voice in your relationship. Too much voice in your relationship, right? So that doesn't just need to be in-laws, it could be other people.
Speaker 2:So we might be bringing you a compilation of some of our favorite topics, things that we've kind of wanted to touch on our favorite topics, things that we've kind of wanted to touch on.
Speaker 1:That's it Until next time. Watch your mouth, your mouth, watch your mouth.
Speaker 2:So please, if this was helpful to you at all, if you're going to be checking your tone, share this with your friends. Share this with your spouse, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, whoever, and make sure you guys like and subscribe like and subscribe yes.
