Cynic Meets Sunshine Podcast
Join us, Andre and Tanisha, a married couple of 26 years, as we share practical advice, honest stories, and plenty of laughs about building a strong and fulfilling relationship. With five kids, three grandkids, and nearly three decades of ups and downs, we’ve learned a lot about love, life, and weathering storms together. Tune in for real talk, relatable insights, and actionable tips to strengthen your own relationships—because nobody’s perfect, but together, we can all get better.
Cynic Meets Sunshine Podcast
Beyond the Bedroom: The Intimacy Equation
What's the secret to maintaining passion in a long-term relationship? Contrary to popular belief, great sex isn't just about technique—it's deeply connected to emotional intimacy. In this revealing conversation, we unpack the complex relationship between physical and emotional connection, exploring how one simply cannot thrive without the other.
We dive deep into the six most common intimacy challenges couples face: mismatched sex drives, communication breakdowns, body image insecurities, emotional disconnect, time management struggles, and the dreaded routine. For each challenge, we offer practical, actionable strategies that have worked in our own relationship and for countless couples we've counseled. From checking hormone levels to scheduling intimate time in playful ways, these solutions address both the physical and emotional components that make intimacy truly fulfilling.
One revelation many listeners find surprising: foreplay isn't something that starts minutes before sex—it begins the moment you wake up. Those small touches, appreciative glances, and flirtatious texts throughout the day create anticipation and emotional connection that transforms your physical intimacy hours later. We share personal examples of how maintaining this playful connection throughout busy days keeps our intimate life vibrant after years together.
Beyond the practical advice, we tackle audience questions about frequency and rejection, emphasizing that there's no "magic number" for how often couples should be intimate. What matters is finding the balance that works for both partners through honest communication and compromise. With scientific benefits ranging from stress reduction to better sleep and even reduced cancer risk, regular intimacy is worth prioritizing in your relationship. Ready to reignite your connection? Listen now and discover how emotional intimacy unlocks physical passion.
All right, you ready, I'm ready, you look pretty.
Tanisha:Thank you, you look handsome and strong you like that?
Andre:All right. Welcome to another episode of Cynic Meets Sunshine. We are your host. I'm Andre. This is my beautiful wife, tanisha. Hey guys Say hi, mama Say hi. And today we're going to be talking about something that we feel should be very near and dear to all couples, and that is intimacy. Yes, let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about you and me. Yeah, not just the physical, though. We're going to talk about emotional and physical intimacy and how the two are intertwined.
Tanisha:Definitely. Yeah, you can't really have one be great without the other, Like if you want it at another level. They definitely should be intertwined.
Andre:So that's what we're going to be talking about today.
Tanisha:Let's talk about it, but we have some housekeeping things. Oh, yes, number one.
Andre:first and foremost, this episode is about sex. We're going to be talking about sex, so if your last name is Porter. I need you to turn the tv off, turn the tv off. This is not your episode not for you.
Tanisha:You don't want to hear about mom and dad.
Andre:We will have episodes where kids can watch and they can share with their other friends and all the stuff that they look at my parents on it's not that episode it's not that episode. And then the second one is um. Later on in the we have some audience submitted questions that we're going to be going over, so stay tuned for those.
Tanisha:Thank you guys for sending those questions in.
Andre:Yeah, it was a common theme, right.
Tanisha:So that we picked two or three.
Andre:What do we get?
Tanisha:We just picked a couple because there was a common theme. We will be answering two that we thought kind of covered the majority of people's questions Awesome.
Andre:All of people's questions Awesome. All right, let's start by defining physical and emotional intimacy.
Tanisha:Right, I mean, they can seem kind of self-explanatory, but we like to explain what it is that we're trying to cover when we say physical and emotional intimacy, so that we're on the same page.
Andre:Physical intimacy is obviously touching, caressing, cuddling and sex.
Tanisha:Mm-hmm, all the touch touchy things and then emotional intimacy is that's going to be that deeper connection. That's going to be being able to feel vulnerable with your partner, feel deeply connected to your person, feel like you can trust them, you have a safe place with them. It's just that, that deep sense of understanding one another and just being closely connected emotionally.
Andre:Okay, so that's physical and emotional intimacy. Let's go ahead and get into the six most common challenges that couples might see when it comes to being intimate and having that awesome, fulfilling, vibrant, intimate relationship.
Tanisha:Right, because what we want to cover today is not just checking a box, like we were talking about last week, just being present. This isn't just like sex, because sex needs to be had in a marriage.
Tanisha:This is us wanting to give you some common problems and some strategies to combat them, because we want you to have a really great sex life. Sex should be fun, it should be pleasurable. It should bring the two of you closer together. This is a way for you, as a couple, to connect on an even deeper level, emotionally and physically.
Andre:So the first one on our list is a mismatched sex drive.
Tanisha:Yeah, this one can definitely be difficult when you have, like one partner who is like raring and ready to go all the time, and then you have another partner who's like I can, or you know I can leave it, I could have it, I could go without it, take it, leave it, whatever.
Tanisha:That can be really difficult on a relationship, you know. That can have the partner who's wanting it all the time feel undesired. That can have them feeling like their needs aren't met. And that can also have the other partner, whose sex drive is low, feeling exhausted and feeling like a heavy expectation is being put on them and almost like a duty.
Andre:Yeah, obligation, an obligation.
Tanisha:And you know this is a really difficult place to be. Ideally, it's great when couples can be completely in sync here and it's like you're wanting it at the same levels. But had just had a baby and I'm just feeling a little bit off. Or because we're both bodybuilders, there are times that, you know, one of us is in a deep deficit calorically. The other one has energy and they're feeling great, and we're just not on the same page. One is needing a lot of sleep, one is not needing a lot of sleep. So what's our solution here?
Andre:Check your hormones. That's first and foremost. Go get a panel. Go to your general practitioner. Go to one of the wellness clinics in your city and check your hormones. Get everything looked at.
Tanisha:Yeah, definitely, and this is a problem not just for people our age or as you're getting older or you just had a baby. We know young men who have low testosterone in their 20s, young women who may not realize that you also need a certain level of testosterone and you need to be sure that your hormones are balanced. These things can greatly affect your sex drive and be really impacting your marriage, and you not even know it and you think it's just normal and that you should feel this way, and maybe you're feeling even a little sluggish or your mood is off, you're moody with your partner. These can all be signs that you have a hormone imbalance and literally it can be a game changer. If you just go get some blood work, tell your doctor, hey, can you just check if, like, everything's balanced? Because in the event that it's not, there's a great answer for you because it will. Once you get things leveled out, it will boost your sex drive, great for your marriage. It will boost your mood, your energy. Yeah.
Andre:Right, so that's that's one.
Tanisha:Yeah, that's one.
Andre:Let's say they went and got a panel and everything was AJ, okay, okay, no issues there.
Tanisha:So you've done that, you've checked the hormones and you're still you're, you're good to go, good to go, and the sex drive is just mix matched with your partner. I would say here you might have somebody who's just a very sexual being, you might have somebody who just really requires more sex, and then you have a partner who's pretty chill and they're like perfectly happy with their Wednesday and Friday night.
Andre:So what are they doing?
Tanisha:Like anything in your relationship, you need to communicate, communicate, sit down together and be very thoughtful and mindful of one another here and tell your person what your needs are and see if you can't come up with a compromise. You really should be able to meet each other in the middle here. One of you should not have to be doing it all the time if you don't want, but one of you should not be going without if you feel like your needs physically aren't being met by your partner. I think there's definitely a way that you can come to a happy medium so check your hormones.
Andre:Compromise where applicable, and communication definitely.
Tanisha:I mean, this is this one I feel can be an easy fix. Yes, this one can be an easy fix.
Andre:There's some that are a little more deeply rooted. External help, but you might need some help yeah and gosh, getting hormones.
Tanisha:I can't even say enough how great that is Like having that taken care of. You feel a million times better.
Andre:Number one was a mismatched sex drive. Number two is a communications breakdown.
Tanisha:Yeah.
Andre:Communication, communication, communication.
Tanisha:Seems like it's always, always in there right, it is forever going to be part of having a healthy relationship in every aspect. Am I right?
Andre:Yeah, no, it definitely is. These are difficult conversations to have. You know my desires, my sexual desires, my wants. You're also going to your partner and maybe you're giving them some information that may be hard for them to take. So they're they're kind of cringe worthy conversations, but necessary conversations, correct?
Tanisha:I think it really depends, though, on the level of closeness of the relationship. This is also going to be different for every partner. Because we're pretty open and transparent with one another. I feel pretty safe with you. So having conversations about any needs I might have or you having conversations with me about your needs, I think is going to be okay. Also, we're very open there.
Tanisha:You might have some people that come from a background where sex was kind of taboo and maybe not something that they discussed and maybe not something that was brought up in their household openly, and so discussing this with their partner is definitely like a little cringy.
Tanisha:Or you can have people who maybe are very sensitive and take offense if you have a need that you're expressing, because they're like what do you mean? You have a need Like I take care of all your needs, you know, and they're immediately defensive, so it can be very touchy anytime you're talking about this subject. So I would just say, when it comes to communication here, be very gentle and delicate in your delivery and also be mindful of your partner's feelings and their needs. Take a second to kind of put yourself in their shoes and think about your needs and wants, their needs and wants, and bring that to them in a way that is not saying you're not doing something, but it's more explaining, like I think this would enhance our relationship or I would really love if we did more of this, and I also.
Andre:I love when we already do this and this, but this being included sounds like a lot of fun. So what I'm hearing you say is be very aware of how you bring up this conversation.
Tanisha:Yeah, be aware, because it's sensitive and you're not trying to be hurtful and you don't want to shut the person down, but you want to be transparent and be able to have these conversations. I definitely want to be able to tell my partner like, oh, I really love when you do this and I would love this as well. Or, you know, these are conversations that you should feel comfortable having with your partner, but if you don't, you know work on it, be slow and loving and gentle in your delivery.
Andre:I slow and loving and gentle in your delivery.
Tanisha:I love the viral trend.
Andre:We listen we don't judge. We listen and we don't judge, we listen and we don't judge. That could be something you guys try like an amnesty period.
Tanisha:Okay, we're going to. There's going to be a period of time.
Andre:We're going for the next 10 minutes. We're going to have a discussion and you're not going to hold anything against me.
Tanisha:You're going to listen and we don't judge.
Andre:I was thinking you could get some handcuffs yeah, not for the gram, but literally for the betterment of your relationship.
Tanisha:Yes, listen and don't judge, and that's a. I love that idea because it's a way to kind of make light of it and have fun and just say like, hey, I've been wanting to have these, like you know, some little sexy conversations with you or talk to you about some stuff you like to freak out.
Andre:Okay, so that's number two communication roadblocks. Number three is body image insecurities. This seems like a no brainer. I can definitely see how body image insecurities would be a roadblock for good intimacy.
Tanisha:I think when you know speaking for women, I think when a woman feels sexy, that translates into the bedroom and then time with your spouse in the bedroom and make it where your person feels that lack of confidence and it doesn't come off as very sexy. If you're trying to turn off the lights, cover yourself up, you're not feeling very open and you're not wanting to really be seen. It can have a really negative impact on your sex life. Here. I think it's difficult these days, because of social media particularly, like you know, there's all these images that feel maybe a little bit difficult to live up to as women.
Tanisha:You know the 13 inch waist, big old booty, you know. All these things it's like. You know. These are difficult images that are everywhere and making women feel like they have to measure up. So what I suggest, if you're having body image issues that stem from social media, that you maybe kind of limit your use there and that you also have self-talk. Remind yourself not to compare yourself to any other woman. You are you and I really encourage you to dig deep and look inside and find at least two qualities about yourself that you really like. You know, instead of, as women, picking ourselves apart, find a couple of things and for men too, I mean, maybe you've got a dad bod now and you used to have a six pack or whatever Find a couple qualities about yourself that you really like that make you feel attractive. Think about those things, focus on those things you know. Bring your sexy out. That's going to translate into the bedroom and make things so much better. Another thing that can really affect body image issues is having children.
Tanisha:You know, for women, when we go through pregnancy and we have body changes and we're trying to recognize ourselves again and we're like, oh gosh, you know I look a little different now. I've got, you know, some stretch marks here, some skin, or whatever. You know some stretch marks here, some skin, or whatever. I want to encourage you, ladies, that your husband and most times, I will say is not focused on these things like you are. So really try and let that just fall off the back of your mind and just relax, let loose and allow this to be a time where you just connect closely with your spouse. Exuding confidence is so sexy.
Andre:Yeah, they say that we're our biggest critics. We are our biggest critics Confidence is sexy, it is.
Tanisha:Yeah, Find some things you really love about yourself and try to focus there. That's healthy, it's good to love yourself and you know it will make a big difference in the bedroom. Trust me, when you feel sexy, he's going to notice.
Andre:That was number three body image insecurities. Number four is emotional disconnect Keep coming back to. If you have problems in the physical, it could possibly be because your emotional connection is lacking. So do an audit, make sure everything is good to go there and if not, then address those underlying issues.
Tanisha:So how would they do like an audit?
Andre:make sure everything is good to go there and if not, then address those underlying issues.
Tanisha:So how?
Andre:would they do like an audit? Did I say anything to piss her off in the last? So yeah, self-reflect, yeah, self-reflect. Why is she not?
Tanisha:wanting to get near me. What's going on here? Yeah?
Andre:what's going on. You could also see our episode on conflict and connection. For some of the strategies that we provided there, those are good, but, yeah, you have to do an audit. You have to reflect on how is our relationship right now other than physical? So your partner's not wanting to be with you often or as often as you'd like. Maybe there's a reason, maybe you're just not that good at it.
Tanisha:I mean, that could be it, or literally, you've hurt that person in some way, because I know if your partner is feeling hurt, betrayed, any of these things that are very emotional, this is going to cause someone to kind of naturally withdraw and naturally pull away. You know, if you notice that you guys used to be touchy-feely, brush up against each other, you know, touch feet when you're sleeping, lean over and hold each other, and now things are a little bit more distant, these are major red flags waving saying okay, let's, let's see what's going on. On the emotional aspect, where the disconnect is, there is more than likely some underlying hurt somewhere and I would say, you know, let's discuss and figure it out and bring that up gently as well, because otherwise that's liable to explode.
Andre:Yeah, a lot of these things that we're talking about. If you don't bring them up in a delicate manner, with love, they can easily backfire like a grenade.
Tanisha:And then you will not be getting any sex.
Andre:I thought this was going to go totally different than how it really went.
Tanisha:You, will not be getting any sex. So I suggest, with love you just say I've noticed you've pulled back. I you know, is there something I've done? Is there something we should discuss, because I would like to be closer with you?
Andre:That is number four emotional disconnect. Number five of the six common challenges that get in the way of intimacy is time management. Everyone's familiar with this one Busy schedules. Everyone's running, running, running and doing a million things.
Tanisha:I got work, deadlines skids.
Andre:There's football schedules, soccer schedules.
Tanisha:Dinner laundry dishes.
Andre:It's a lot it is, and it can get in the way of intimate time. Our suggestion here is if it is that bad, you schedule your intimate time Tonight at 8 o'clock when we put the kids to bed.
Tanisha:It's me and you, baby, and you know, when we say schedule it, I know that that sounds boring, like oh, we're scheduling our sex. Like, oh, married life, we're scheduling sex for Thursday at 9 pm. But it does not have to be like that. That really isn't even how it should be. When I suggest, or Andre suggests, scheduling it, I think, be creative and have a little bit of fun there too as well, because I know for Andre and I were extremely busy. So a way that we schedule it like if we know, you know, we didn't get to have sex yesterday and we're both feeling like we want to have sex today, andre will send me cute little text messages, maybe about like something we did the other night. He's being playful and, you know, reminding me of something that he enjoyed when we were intimate the other night, or, you know, and it's it's giving me the giggles and it's creating anticipation.
Andre:And it's foreplay, you know it.
Tanisha:Just it makes me chuckle like oh, how cute. And then he'll say you know, tonight when the kids are going to bed, you know you want to meet me in there. And this is my cue that like, ok, don't start a load of laundry after the kids are in bed, don't go start the dishes, don't go start getting everything together.
Andre:Don't watch that finale, your favorite episode.
Tanisha:Yeah, this is my cue that my husband wants a little bit more alone time with me. So now I know and we've essentially scheduled it, but in a fun, playful way.
Andre:Yeah.
Tanisha:It's not so boring and blah. It's like I. There's some anticipation. I'm excited.
Andre:If that doesn't happen, cause we've had those times where I just in my mind was thinking oh, yeah, I'm going to do it tonight. We're going to. We, we missed, we missed out last night she fell asleep, or I fell asleep, but tonight's the night and I don't make that known to her, I don't communicate that to her. And then come eight, 30, 30, I come in the room she's knocked out already or I'm, or I'm doing a million things.
Andre:Yeah, well, that's fine, I just throw all the stuff out of your hand, but usually if you're, that means no I missed it but that would happen because I didn't communicate I didn't talk to you and I didn't right I didn't schedule it beforehand and then schedule it.
Tanisha:Schedule it before.
Andre:That can lead to a upset partner yeah, and then he might go to bed. Now I feel angry.
Tanisha:He feels neglected. Yes, so it's much better to voice it and, like I said, voice it in a playful way, make it foreplay.
Andre:So, speaking of playful, that leads us into our sixth and final of the common challenges when it comes to intimate time is routine and predictability. This is kind of similar to time management, right? But your sex life is just the same thing. It's always the same position, always the same time. Six pumps and a quiver, and I'm done.
Tanisha:No, no, no. And so you know, especially for couples who've been together for a longer period of time, it's probably more of an issue finding that routine, Cause you definitely most most relationships have that honeymoon phase right when you just want to do it all the time and all the different things different places, different everything. But when you do get stuck in this rut of routine or things being boring, you really do want to be quick to kind of pull out of that and throw some adventure in there, Spice it up, Spice things up. Yeah, it should continue to be fun.
Tanisha:I've been with Andre for so long and it has never got old and never got tired of it. And there are always ways to have fun with your partner, especially I'll lead back to when you're emotionally connected. That emotional connection creates a very deep physical connection and it makes the sex so much better. So if you're paying attention to all these things, you are going to have a level of closeness and intimacy that you couldn't have otherwise and it allows for you to be more adventurous together because you're not afraid to try new things.
Andre:I want to emphasize the importance of foreplay. Foreplay isn't or it shouldn't rather start 30 minutes before I want to have sex Right. Foreplay should start first thing in the morning, when I get up and I give her a kiss before I get on my phone, before I go do a million other things for work. I jump up and I give her a kiss and I tell her I love her. Maybe we're in the kitchen getting the kids ready and I walk past her and I give her a kiss on the neck. Those things are foreplay that creates that anticipation.
Andre:It gets us ready for later in the day. Yeah, definitely.
Tanisha:It's like we have a million things we have to do, but he's making eyes at me in the kitchen while he's making the kids pancakes and being, like you know, silly or playful with me, and it's something just I understand. You know, these are our little ways of just kind of playing with each other throughout the day and, like he said, creating that anticipation so that even though we're busy throughout the day tonight we know we're going to come together. It's exciting to think about. You know, don't underestimate sending your partner playful messages throughout the day.
Tanisha:Just say nudes Okay, he wants a nude. I'll send him a nude if he wants a nude. Whatever you know it's fun, it's playful. If you're having a hard time here, they have little things, little dice that you can roll. That kind of will help initiate some new playful things that you do. You know, grab a blindfold, use a little feather.
Andre:I like it.
Tanisha:Find your partner's erogenous zones?
Andre:Yes, these things can be a lot of fun and help spice it up. We just signed up for ARIA. I was hoping our little box would get here before we recorded this, but yeah, I don't think it will, unless the FedEx guy walks up to the door in the next few minutes?
Tanisha:I don't think we're going to do it. Maybe we'll do it. It'll be like a bonus clip, yeah, and we'll give you guys like a review if we think it's any good. We thought we'd check it out because we like giving you guys resources that you can use, kind of like the paired app, because we have tried that one that's a great way to to spice it up, because it'll ask questions about sex and intimacy and spark conversation that is a good one for communication breakdown if there's issues with communication or having difficulty telling someone your desires and your wants that that would.
Andre:That would really help with that paired app. Check it out.
Tanisha:You know, to avoid things getting stale, things getting boring, ask your partner is there something you've been wanting to try with me, you know, would would you like me to dress up, is there? You know, anything that you'd like me to do. I like asking Andre questions about what he wants, just in general. You know his overall satisfaction with everything spending time, all of those things so this is just another one of those areas where you want to ask your partner and make sure that they feel good.
Andre:You should be doing check-ins in every area of the relationship, but this is just yet another.
Tanisha:And remember too, guys, that sex should be pleasurable and enjoyable for both parties. So you really want to be mindful of your own needs, but very mindful of your partner's needs here too, and that will be greatly appreciated. If you are having any issues, I think that's definitely something that you should check and be sure that you are a giver and that you are giving to your partner as well as receiving. Sex is going to enhance your relationship, so this is something that you do want to put some time, energy and effort into. It really does create another level of closeness.
Andre:Awesome. Those were the six common challenges that come into play when it comes to having a flourishing, intimate relationship with your partner.
Tanisha:Yes.
Andre:All right. So in the next segment we want to go over two questions that were sent in from the audience and they were about the same topic, and that was the frequency of sex. So the first one I want to have sex more, but when I bring it up with my wife she gets irritated. Ouch.
Tanisha:That's tough. What's our advice there? Well, first and foremost, you need to probably do some evaluation here. Why would your wife be getting irritated when you bring up that you want more sex? Step number one would probably be able to be to investigate the situation a little bit further, am I right?
Andre:What do you?
Tanisha:mean investigate. Why is she irritated?
Andre:Because if she's irritated, if you're wanting sex, she's probably going to be irritated if you interrogate her.
Tanisha:Okay, so investigate was maybe the wrong word. I don't mean interrogate her, but here's where you maybe would tell her like I'd really love to have more intimacy with you and be physical with you more, and I've noticed that you're maybe not as into it as I am right now and I want to make sure, are you okay?
Andre:Okay.
Tanisha:Is everything okay? Have I done something that's upset you? Okay, you know? So just kind of looking into what may be causing her to have that kind of attitude or irritation, because maybe there's something that you don't even realize, that she's been walking around day after day, running in her head, pissed off and you have no idea.
Andre:I'm hearing the emotional disconnect.
Tanisha:Emotional disconnect.
Andre:So you need to, like we said said, do an audit of the emotional and and see if everything is is good to go there see if everything is good to go there, and then also kind of what I was saying about.
Tanisha:You know sex should be pleasurable for both parties. This is where you can also take a look at yourself. Is she irritated about you wanting more sex because maybe the sex has been off? I could be wrong here, but perhaps perhaps sex has been something where you're getting yours in and she's feeling like her needs aren't met, and so she's like I'm really yeah.
Andre:I'm really not wanting to do it more Okay, so maybe remedial classes or something, just take a look and and and ask yourself like am I being a good partner to her as well? Am I a giver, or am I just three pumps and a quiver?
Tanisha:That's right. Okay, it's a no.
Andre:We said communicate, look at the emotional.
Tanisha:And evaluate yourself. She might be very happy that you were, that you noticed that she's off and that you brought it to her and and tried to fix the issue.
Andre:The next topic is how often should a couple be intimate this one? There is no right answer. They're literally. If you asked five different couples, you would probably get five different answers. The answer is it depends. If I have a magical number in my head, for how many times a week I think we should be doing it and you have a totally different number than that means we first need to guess what. What is? What do we need to do? Communicate. We need to communicate and I need to tell you hey, I need more of you.
Tanisha:There is no like right answer how many times a week should you be having sex? This will be different for every couple right. Because every couple's needs are different. There might be that couple that they are so happy having it on their Wednesday and Friday nights and they are getting their sleep on the other nights and they are happy.
Tanisha:And that's fine for them and in that case, I say quality over quantity, honey. As long as it is good sex and you guys are happy, then that is the magic number. If for me and Andre it is five, six nights a week, and that's what makes us both happy, Then we get a rest day in there where we sleep. Whatever it may be for every couple, there is, like he said, no magic number. It's what makes you both feel good. The key, though, is that both of you are feeling good, that there's communication.
Andre:It's not one-sided. It's not one-sided, it's not a mismatch thing where I said six days a week and you said two days a week. Exactly, probably needs to be some compromise. That's where the compromise would need to come in play, so no magic number. Just make it good. Good quality over quantity. Whatever works for you guys is our answer there? Those are our two questions. We did have an intimacy challenge this week. We want you and your partner to do what?
Tanisha:To try out some of these tips. If you've been finding that you guys are in any kind of a rut, you know, check in on their emotional well-being, check in on their physical well-being, ask them, you know, is there something new you've been wanting to try? Really try using the foreplay tactic that Andre was talking about. Like, from the very beginning of your day, little text messages to each other little kisses. These things go a long way in setting the tone for your day.
Andre:Being playful from the beginning of your day is going to be a lot more rewarding at the end of the night than trying to start something up 10 minutes before I've done that before where I haven't had any foreplay with you or connection or touches with you and then at the end of the I know all day that's why I'm having sex tonight and then at the end of the night, when I try and have sex, it's like you're like and maybe like uh, hello, can I help you?
Tanisha:Where have you been all day?
Andre:Where have you been all day?
Tanisha:Yeah, no, I think that's very important for us. That definitely, like we said earlier, creates the anticipation, makes it fun, makes it spicy, makes it playful.
Andre:What are your takeaways?
Tanisha:There's a lot more that can be said clearly on this topic, but we just wanted to kind of address some of the common challenges, go over some of our strategies to beat them and the main takeaways that we really want you guys to have from this is that sex does enhance your marriage. It does enhance your relationship. While there is no magic number, I really do suggest that you're having sex with your partner weekly, that you're not letting too much time pass, because this is a really powerful tool to have another level of closeness and show love and care for your partner, and I think it's a very important part of marriage and it should be enjoyable, it should be fun.
Andre:I want you to look up some of the science behind sex.
Tanisha:Yes, so I was telling Andre, you know it even helps your husband out, okay? So if you're having more sex he's less likely to get prostate cancer.
Andre:There you go.
Tanisha:Women who are having more sex are more likely to have lighter and better menstrual cycles. Sounds good to me and orgasm does release the hormone oxytocin to help them feeling good, sleeping better, stress relief. So it's science. People, we want you to get out there and have some great sex with your partner.
Andre:My takeaway is communication is the bedrock. Emotional intimacy and physical intimacy are intertwined. They work well together, so use them together and creativity will keep the flame alive.
Tanisha:Agreed, get creative, have fun.
Andre:Okay, well, until next time where we're going to be bringing another piece of the relationship puzzle to you guys. Have a good one. Bye, guys, bye.
