Cynic Meets Sunshine Podcast
Join us, Andre and Tanisha, a married couple of 26 years, as we share practical advice, honest stories, and plenty of laughs about building a strong and fulfilling relationship. With five kids, three grandkids, and nearly three decades of ups and downs, we’ve learned a lot about love, life, and weathering storms together. Tune in for real talk, relatable insights, and actionable tips to strengthen your own relationships—because nobody’s perfect, but together, we can all get better.
Cynic Meets Sunshine Podcast
Secrets to a Divorce-Proof Marriage: A Journey of Love, Laughter, and Lessons
Can a marriage truly be divorce-proof? We're Andre and Tanisha, and with 26 vibrant years together, five incredible children, and a trio of delightful grandchildren, we think we've uncovered some secrets worth sharing. Tune into our debut episode of "Cynic Meets Sunshine" as we unravel how our contrasting personalities—Andre's analytical realism and Tanisha's optimistic dreaming—have been the bedrock of our enduring love story. We promise you'll learn why mastering communication, working as a team, and maintaining both emotional and physical intimacy are non-negotiable ingredients for a resilient partnership.
From the chaotic early days of multiple military deployments to the humorous escapades of sneaky motel visits, our marriage has been an adventure. We candidly share how aligning our values without any formal discussions and embracing the unpredictability of life has kept our bond unbreakable. Join us as we answer your burning questions and share the laughter and lessons that have fortified our relationship against the odds. This isn't just our story; it's a guide to nurturing the kind of partnership you've always dreamed of.
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Hello friends, Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, depending on when you guys are watching this. Welcome to the very first episode of Cynic.
Speaker 2:Meet Sunshine.
Speaker 1:We are super excited to have you guys here for the very first episode. We're going to dive into everything and anything that has to do with building and sustaining a long loving relationship. Yes, let's get in it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, we're very excited. Uh, like he said, this is our first episode. We want to speak to those of you that are married and, you know, want advice, info, about having a good, healthy, long-term marriage. We want to speak to people who are in new relationships and have questions, or people who are just looking to be in a healthy, long-term relationship, and really we just want to have fun with you guys. We want to answer questions. We are still on our journey and we want to learn things together and interact with you guys. And, yeah, we're excited.
Speaker 1:Stay tuned. Later in this episode we're going to be going over the top three ingredients Tanisha and Mai, our top three ingredients to divorce-proof your marriage.
Speaker 2:So stay tuned. Good stuff yeah, don't go anywhere. Good stuff that's like the meat.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:So hang on, it's coming. This episode we're really just going to be taking time to introduce ourselves and kind of let you guys get to know us a little bit.
Speaker 1:My name is Andre. This is my beautiful wife, Tanisha. We have been married for 26 years, almost three decades. We have five kids, wonderful kids.
Speaker 2:And then we have three amazing grandkids.
Speaker 1:So our family's growing and we're loving it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I agree, we have an amazing family, a huge family. Some of you probably know we got together very young and got married when I was just a teenager. So building our family, we're very blessed that, like our family, values and wants and desires, they're aligned, because we never even discussed that we would have five children. We just kept having kids and then at a certain point we were like this feels like, yeah, this feels like our sweet spot.
Speaker 2:We better. We better stop here. This is good. And then now we're being blessed with grandchildren and it's amazing, the family just keeps on growing.
Speaker 1:We say batches because we had the first. We initially had five C-sections, so back in the day you could have, I think, the limit was three.
Speaker 2:The doctors always said three C-sections, you're done.
Speaker 1:So we had had three daughters. I always wanted to have a little boy and I kind of gave that hope up. I said, oh well, maybe no football practice but I'll be able to go to volleyball practice and softball practice. We came fromifornia. Here you got a different ob yeah gyn and she was like no, that's old school, you can you can have more c-sections. So we had our what we call our second batch and we started over and we did have a boy, our fourth was a boy very exciting.
Speaker 2:And then of course, we had to have another one in there, a buddy for him, because we had spaced it out so much, yeah, that's fine. I love I love.
Speaker 2:I love the dynamic we have I do too, because honestly, even the older kids and the younger kids like they're tight, our family is real tight, like even though that space is there, like the, the whole, the whole crew is a really tight crew and it's amazing for us, a huge blessing in our marriage, because our older kids are so amazing with their siblings and they'll help out for date nights or when we just took our anniversary trip to Jamaica.
Speaker 2:There is no one that you trust with your kids more than your own family in most cases, and for us, our children take really good care of each other, so our older ones hold it down and that's a really really helpful tool for us for dating and, yeah, and going out very important but it worked out excellent. For us. That is a huge blessing. I do suggest that you discuss those things in relationship.
Speaker 1:You should probably know those are big things. I don't even think we talked about it yeah, I mean, we were both family people.
Speaker 2:I knew you loved kids and, yeah, you know we knew it was coming. We just never discussed.
Speaker 1:It worked out. It worked out good.
Speaker 2:So Cynic meets Sunshine and how we came up with the name Cynic Meets Sunshine. And we had went over a lot of names and there were plenty of names that really stood out to us and we loved them, but they were not very unique or they were already taken, and so we thought, okay, we need to do something that's unique and speaks just to us. And so Cynic Meets Sunshine is-.
Speaker 1:I'm Cynic.
Speaker 2:I'm Cynic. It really highlights our personalities, personalities and if you know us, um, then you'll probably get a laugh out of cynic meets sunshine, because you're like, yep, that's them. Um, if you don't know us, you'll kind of get to know eventually, eventually, how it's cynic meets sunshine and again, it's just highlighting our differences in our personality, right, um, and we thought that would be really fun to integrate into the podcast because we can bring different perspective. Not only do you get a male, female point of view answering questions, but you also get cynic, which he's more the realist in the relationship, definitely.
Speaker 1:You would say logical much more logical thinking analytical. Analytical for sure. The data show yes.
Speaker 2:Let's pull up the spreadsheets and you're all about the stats and I am more of the emotion and I'm very optimistic, oh yes, so I'm like die hard. Yes, optimist, I will find the silver lining to a fault. So that that's, that's how we came up with it, it highlights our, our different personalities. Yep, all right, so we did go to social media. How did you guys meet was one of the questions, and what was our first impression of each other?
Speaker 1:How did we meet and what was our first impression?
Speaker 2:Do you want to go first?
Speaker 1:Okay, it was 1998. We often argue about whether it was 97 98 we have we have done the research. It was 1998, it was february, we were in joshua tree courthouse.
Speaker 2:I always want to say yucca valley. So yes, we met in the courthouse y'all. It was joshua tree.
Speaker 1:No judgment joshua tree courthouse. Y'all, it was Joshua Tree Courthouse. No judgment, yeah, joshua Tree Courthouse.
Speaker 2:She was there for traffic tickets and I was there on a DUI charge. Oof, Oof.
Speaker 1:Yeah, eek, I was young and so I got an escort because I couldn't drive. So two of my fellow Marines took me to the courthouse and as we walked in in there was double doors. I remember walking through the double doors and I looked over to the left and I saw tanisha's like leaning over the county clerk office you know the window and I noticed she had like brown corduroy pants she had some kind of it was like tan or white cream yeah sweater and I thought, oh, she's cute.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And then she turned around and she looked at me and so we caught eyes for a few seconds and then I just kept going. I waited until I got maybe 10, 15 feet away from her and I decided to act like I was talking to the Marine behind me. I really just wanted to see if she was still looking, if she was still looking, but she wasn't looking. So I thought, okay, she's, she's, she's nice.
Speaker 2:But she was very pretty, but I just, for some reason, I thought in my mind she knows she's pretty, so you weren't trying to play, I wasn't? Yeah, I wasn't, you weren't giving me any play.
Speaker 1:I was playing games. We, you know a lot of young kids play games and that's what I was doing. Like I can't let her know that I was looking or I was attracted, interested.
Speaker 2:Interested at all.
Speaker 1:So we went, we sat down in the chairs outside of the courthouse. We sat there for a minute and I remember the Marine.
Speaker 2:Everett. We still talk to him to this day, friend, to this day.
Speaker 1:Good friend. So Everett and Sergeant Smith was the other guy they were just chopping it up with Tanisha. They were just going back and forth and I was just sitting there. I don't know if I was quiet because I was about to go in court in front of the judge, or yeah, I just but. But I had no words for her. Um, she was pretty to look at. I just didn't want, for whatever reason I cannot recall why I didn't want to interact.
Speaker 1:So yeah, so, um, they were talking with you. The bailiff opened up the courthouse and we went in um and then she sat in the row right in front of us very first row. We sat in the second row and then so we said everyone, please stand, we're gonna do the the our oath, yeah, and I saw her backside and I said, okay, maybe I might have to go talk to her, I might have to to say something.
Speaker 2:You and your friends.
Speaker 1:But unfortunately I was the very first person called to the court. So I went up in front of the judge, got my stuff and then we left and as I left I thought, man, I should have talked to her.
Speaker 2:I was like oh, he was first, he was cute. That sucks.
Speaker 1:I should have talked to her, so so I ran to the front desk and asked the lady, can I steal a pen and a pad? And she said you probably shouldn't use that terminology in here, but here. So I wrote my number on it, went back to the courthouse outside where you can't open the door, but I pounded on the door and the bailiff looked and he opened up the door and he just opened it a little bit and I just shimmied past him and went over to the row and then handed you the sticky.
Speaker 2:At this point, there's like two other bailiffs. I'm confused. I'm like what is happening?
Speaker 1:There's two other bailiffs in the room that are coming to the door. Like he can't be in here. Get him out of here. Get him out of here.
Speaker 2:Everybody was confused. What is happening right now?
Speaker 1:So they're telling me I got to go and she's like is this you? Because you didn't even talk to me.
Speaker 2:I'm like yeah, just call me.
Speaker 1:So I left, and the rest is history. And here we are, yeah, 27 years later.
Speaker 2:Very similar for me, but from my perspective, same thing. I remember seeing you walk in and I was leaning over, like you said, and I was talking and I heard the door open. So I looked over and I was like, oh, wow, he's really handsome. But then I just kept it my business because I wasn't going to be like gawking and drooling on you or anything. So I just thought, oh, he's very handsome. And you know, like you said, him and his friends were sitting over there. We're all waiting to go into the same courtroom and they're chopping it up with me. Super nice, he's very quiet. So I'm like, oh, okay, but we went in and I do remember you got called first. I didn't know you guys were checking me out from the other row, but I uh, I remember when you left I was like oh, but when you came back in I was so shook, like court is going on, I'm nervous, I'm waiting for my turn. And then you're like in the in the aisle, and I'm like turn.
Speaker 2:And then you're like in the in the aisle and I'm like what I have to get up in the court and like, shimmy down the aisle and I'm talking to you, the bailiff is like what's even happening?
Speaker 1:I remember people were at my elbow.
Speaker 2:People were like move, move I think everyone was like mind blown, like they're watching all this happen and they know they should probably stop it, but he has no clue what's going on in the middle of court. Um, but anyway, he gave me this sticky note with his name and number on it and to this day I have this sticky note, which we were actually looking for this morning, and we're going to laminate yeah, we're going to laminate it.
Speaker 2:We need to find it because I literally kept that in a little memory box with like cards and letters for all these years.
Speaker 1:But I remember that box has to burn If for all these years. But I remember that box has to burn if, if the children ever find these letters that we've written to each other.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's a, it is like a. Just if the kids know, if me and dad die, burn this box. But um, but I remember thinking to myself like I was so annoyed that he gave me his phone number on this sticky note because, you know, I was young and old school, this was like the 90s and I was thinking to myself like I don't want to call this guy, like how weird, like I'm not gonna go after him, like I should have gave him my number so he could give me a call. I'm not gonna be calling this guy. But sure enough, that weekend came and I was like me and my friends are doing stuff and he was super cute, I'm gonna give him a call and I did. I called you and me, and you and your friends and my friends, we all went out that weekend uh to a club which, mind you, I was not old enough to go to a club, but I babysat for the club owners.
Speaker 2:I would watch their children, so they made me pinky, promise you made an exception that I would not drink and I could go out dancing with you, and sure enough we did and we had so much fun and we literally were inseparable yeah, since then, and what would you say are the most defining moments um in our relationship? So we've been together a really long time and we've had some really major life experiences together. So there are several several most defining moments.
Speaker 2:But if I have to since we're kind of talking about like where we started in our beginnings and like those formative years like we were talking about um, I would say for me it would be when we were dating and we had decided like, okay, this is serious, like I really enjoy being with this person. You were getting out of the military, you were thinking about going back home and I was like you know, why don't you stay? You go to school, we'll get, we'll move in together, you know. So we got an apartment together and we were trying to navigate life together as a couple living together and it was kind of rough it's.
Speaker 2:It was a little bit rocky because I was not used to someone like you who was brutally honest, uh, extremely just, like forward and like say what's on your mind, this is what it is, there's no sugarcoating, like. You've always just been very blunt and I didn't really know how to take that. I think I was used to dealing with people who sugarcoat, used to people who aren't really honest with you. They're more of like tell you what you want to hear, kind of people. So I didn't really know how to deal with it and it was difficult, especially in arguments with you and stuff, because you are you. You were a little rough around those edges at that at that age, at that age especially so we broke up. I remember we broke up for like a hot minute.
Speaker 1:I kicked him out y'all. She sent me back to texas. I did.
Speaker 2:I sent him to texas and I was like no, this is not gonna work like I can't. I can't do this, like he's too much it was a 21 hour drive.
Speaker 2:I think before I got home we were already calling each other immediately and that's why that that sticks out for me, because, like, literally, we broke up and almost immediately, before he could even make it back to texas, we're like on the phone, like hurting, like physically hurting, because we're already missing each other. And that for me, he went home, he visited his family and he turned right back around and came home and we got back together and we realized like I, this is my person, I don't want to be apart from you. Like I want to work through our problems, whatever our issues are. Like we can really work through it because it's better together. Like I'm, I am happier with you, I love you, and that was it. We got married shortly after that. Like that, I think, really showed us both like I don't want to be away from you, yeah, Um.
Speaker 1:We met in February and we got married the next january the next january.
Speaker 2:Yeah, not long, less than a year shorter than that, but yeah, uh, 11 months yeah so that that was a big one for me. That let me know.
Speaker 1:Like you know, I I much rather be with you with than without you and we could work through through our for me also would be those early years, um our first four years of marriage. I was in the marine corps, with my last eight, um the last four of my eight years I was in the Marine Corps with my last eight, the last four of my eight years that I did in the Marine Corps and we were always deployed. So I was first four years I was in infantry.
Speaker 1:We were in the field you know often but, I thought I was doing myself a favor by doing a lap move or a job change to artillery, not realizing artillery can't just go and shoot at the range up the road. They, they. In order to practice, we have to go to the field. So we were in the field twice, three times as much yeah, always in the field every 18 months.
Speaker 1:We're doing a six-month deployment every month. We were doing a week, a week away at least. But that kept us in the newlywed stage for a long time and I think we were inseparable. We didn't want to be away from each other and everything was just so new and fresh for a prolonged period of time because we were always I was always gone.
Speaker 2:We always deployed.
Speaker 1:So that's. I think that that it's not a defining moment but a defining timeframe. It really that we were so inseparable.
Speaker 2:We were so inseparable and that was like we were intense, Like y'all it was intense. Having us apart was like next level. I'm sure, looking back at it now, like older people who are like our age currently are like what is wrong with these two? Like hang out like relax because, we were in pain, like we.
Speaker 2:There was tears shed, I mean we really could not be away from each other like the bond and the desire to like constantly be together, to do everything together, and it's so funny how that hasn't changed, like we literally do everything together but it was like it was so intense and so magnified that we just could not be a part.
Speaker 2:The lengths we would go to like andre could have gotten trouble. He's out of the military now but he could have gotten trouble like the things we would do. I have driven out to a field exercise and he's he's giving me like turn off the lights.
Speaker 1:Okay, I need you to roll and turn left at the fork once you hit the dirt road, turn off the lights. I need you. You're driving three clicks I don't know what a click is okay. Just there was no cell phones, mind you. Okay, there was no none of that.
Speaker 2:like I'm, I'm working off maps here. I'm working off of andre giving me directions okay, and I'm young, I'm trying to figure this out in the dark, but we went to some great lengths. I think he talked to superiors Like can I slip out just for like a couple hours?
Speaker 1:I'm leaving tonight. We're not doing anything. I'll be back tomorrow. Zero six hundred for sure. We stayed One night. We did that.
Speaker 2:There was like a convention in town.
Speaker 1:And we couldn't find anywhere to stay yeah, so we stayed in what we refer to this day as the roach motel. It was like a crackhead motel yeah we tanisha wouldn't lay her head on the pillow she was afraid. There was bugs everywhere. The pillowcase was like brown we were like not because it was brown.
Speaker 2:It was originally white but we could not sleep. But we this was like literally, I had driven out of town to be at this field exercise and pick him up and just spend a few hours together.
Speaker 1:That's how desperate we were.
Speaker 2:Do you remember low crawling out of the field?
Speaker 1:Yeah, they didn't have an alarm clock, so we had to ask one of the crackheads outside.
Speaker 2:It will give you money if you just wake us up at 4 o'clock.
Speaker 1:Could you do that? I have to be somewhere at 6. It's very important.
Speaker 2:So that's like that kind of shows you where we were at emotionally for a long time in the beginning of our relationship, with him leaving, we always had this desire to be together. We didn't really have the opportunity to get like sick of each other or you know much later.
Speaker 1:All right, well, that gives you a glimpse into early Andre and Tanisha. Yeah, but why are we doing this podcast? Why are we here?
Speaker 2:Well, so my vision for this podcast comes from other people really Like people always tell us y'all should do a podcast. Like literally, tell us, like y'all should do a podcast, you guys should have a show. You know us being married for 26 years. It's not that common. I feel like these days that you see people who've been married that long. I mean, of course there are some, but it doesn't.
Speaker 1:It just doesn't feel as common.
Speaker 2:It feels like, you know, relationships don't last as long and marriages, you know, divorce rates are high. So when people find out Andre and I are married 26 years, it's like okay, they they acknowledge it as an accomplishment and they ask us like all right, you know, what are your secrets, what are your tips? So we thought, you know, this will be fun. So you know, let's, let's do this, let's, let's get out here and let's see what we can share with other people. Hopefully, you know, we can have fun with it. You guys can interact, ask questions.
Speaker 2:You know, like we said earlier, we can give you a perspective, male perspective, female perspective, a realist, optimist and hopefully we can just like help each other navigate life, navigate relationships. And you know, for me the biggest thing is if we can help somebody. I was telling Andre, like if we do this podcast and we can help, just like one relationship, if one marriage is like oh my gosh, like thank you so much for sharing that. Or, you know, one relationship is like oh my gosh, like we, we followed y'all's advice and that helped so much, like that would make me really happy.
Speaker 1:I think that aligns, uh, very well with your what. What sparks your joy, what gives you happiness, is helping people. So, um, for me, I mean, all all those things are great. I want to help people. I, I love to see people um, go through some of the same challenges that we we have and come out stronger. That's awesome, it brings them together. But for me, this is about another, just another journey that you and I get to go on Um we were bodybuilding right now.
Speaker 1:We didn't mention that, but we're both professional, competitive bodybuilders. But that's a journey we started together and we're in that journey and it's fun, but it's also probably coming to an end.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would say so.
Speaker 1:There'll be like a 60 year old bodybuilder. Well, we will. We just won't be doing it competitively, but this is another adventure we love going on adventures, trying new things for the first time. So this is yet another adventure. And if we help somebody along the way, then awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's awesome. Our new hobby. I love it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Maybe it'll last more than an episode or two, but who knows? You know we'll take it. We'll take it week by week.
Speaker 2:That's up to you all Because we, honestly, we've got 26 years of marriage. We could sit up here and chat all day about different life stories and life experiences, but we are really hoping to hear from you guys and get everybody involved.
Speaker 1:Okay, what type of topics are you excited to talk about in this?
Speaker 2:podcast. Okay. So there is really no one topic and no topic is off limits. You know, you and I are really big on like being very open. We're very transparent. We're not like there's not really any TMI. We're big on PDA, we're on all those things. So it's like I'm welcoming. What I'm excited about is welcoming the questions. I want to get in there and like answer y'all's questions and give our life experience and and have that opportunity to try and kind of help people. So I'm I'm ready to dive into all the subjects.
Speaker 1:A to Z, I think. For me, I'm excited about any of the areas in our marriage that we have struggled, that we've improved, whether it's we were struggling and we improved or we were okay and we just got better. If we've improved in those, I'm eager to help other people improve as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, kind of help give them tips and tricks.
Speaker 1:I'm taking a cue from you on that point.
Speaker 2:I love it.
Speaker 1:I also just hope people find us relatable and funny, because we're going to have laughs. Hopefully you guys are laughing with us or at us either way, either one, either one to have laughs. Hopefully you guys are laughing with us or at us. Either one, either one. Earlier in the episode we talked about our top three ingredients to divorce.
Speaker 2:Proof your marriage so let's go through those huge guys. There's many, many, many more um, but these are the ones that we thought are top three, our top three yeah, and we'll, we'll cover more, like he said, but don't take it lightly, because these are things you'll hear time, like he said, but don't take it lightly, because these are things you'll hear time and time again, but it is like it's for a reason. Yeah, yeah, these top three are are serious to me so number one is become a master communicator and listener.
Speaker 1:We're going to say this over and over communication is the number one. If you fix communication and if you communicate well, all the other problems that you'll see in throughout your marriage, throughout your relationship, will be easier to navigate to overcome if you have good communication.
Speaker 1:So learn to be a good communicator, you're not just going to do it overnight, but have a willingness to to learn. Go get some help, go listen to a podcast, go pick up a self-help book. But become a master communicator and with that is a master listener master listener for sure.
Speaker 2:I think something that we've been working on as a couple and as a family is being slower to speak, Andre and I both have like our points that we want to get across.
Speaker 2:And as a family, we're all very outspoken and we tend to talk all over each other and interrupt each other, and there's a lot lost there because you don't fully hear someone and someone doesn't feel fully heard or seen, and it's just rude, and so that's something that we're really trying to fix about ourselves. So I think mastering communication first requires looking at yourself, don't think about you. We need to master communication, and I just really wish my wife would listen more, or we need master communication. I really wish my husband would just be more gentle with the way he delivers things.
Speaker 1:It's like all those are important.
Speaker 2:Those are important, but here's number one look at yourself, because the only thing I'm in control of is fixing me. So I need to be like okay, I speak too quickly, I need to slow down and I need to listen and absorb what did he just say before? I'm just already ready to speak. So that's something I'm working on is being slower to speak and listening more so I can really digest what is it that my husband wants to share with me right now. I don't need to pop back, I don't need to be defensive. We're not on opposite teams here. I need to hear him.
Speaker 1:Okay, good transition into number two If you're going to succeed in a long-term relationship or marriage, you have to have a team mindset.
Speaker 2:This is huge yeah.
Speaker 1:It's not 50-50.
Speaker 2:I mean it'd be nice if it was 50-50, but sometimes there are seasons when I'm hurting.
Speaker 1:I'm overwhelmed and I need you to take up some of the slack and you've done that and vice versa. Sometimes I'll walk through the door and I can tell it's been one of those days.
Speaker 2:Yeah, give mom a minute.
Speaker 1:I need to do something to lighten your load. Um, that's part of a team mindset.
Speaker 2:I agree, you know. Just to elaborate on what he's saying, there are times in relationships, literally, where instead of 50, 50, it's like 90, 10. And you've got a partner who is just like barely keeping their head above water and you've got to hold things down. And you know we talk about this because in a good relationship you really will hold each other down in all these different phases. Now it is not healthy If your relationship stays like that.
Speaker 2:If you're in a long-term relationship, it's always 90, 10, there's a problem, yeah, but there there are times where you will have to pull more weight than your partner and vice versa. And you need to really do that with a loving heart and because you care about the person's wellbeing and you care about your wellbeing as a couple and not Harbor resentments and not keep account of what you're doing. You know you just need to do it because, hey, we're a team here and teamwork because that is number two is huge. And another reminder there too, kind of leads back to communication. When you're arguing, fighting with your spouse, keep that in mind too, that it's a team. You guys are not opposing each other, you don't have to yeah same jersey.
Speaker 2:Your end goal should be resolution and your end goal should be clarity and end goal connection coming together.
Speaker 1:Okay, speaking of coming together, number three is emotional and physical intimacy.
Speaker 2:It's a really good one, right? Because how many couples have we talked to and our minds are blown? Yes, because they are literally lacking. So much Like we just disconnected disconnected. Yeah, we've spoke to married people who have not been physically intimate with each other for months mind-blowing to me. I mean for months, and so clearly you're lacking physical intimacy.
Speaker 1:Yes, but also that tells me emotional intimacy.
Speaker 2:There's no way and yeah, and, and that is a very dangerous place to get in your relationship. Of course, there's so much more to a relationship than sex and all of those things. But emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, is huge in a healthy relationship because for one physical touch literally releases a hormone, oxytocin. This hormone is associated with bonding, yeah, okay. So if you are not receiving that from your person, you're lacking a part of that bond and that closeness that you can have. And emotional intimacy is tied hand in hand with physical intimacy If you are not emotionally connected to that person and taking time to make them feel seen, appreciated, cared for, loved, cared for.
Speaker 2:Like. You know how you like I'll be walking around the house and I'm being kind of off and I think I'm playing it off right, I'm normal, but I'm really not okay. You pick up on that immediately, like you, you know immediately if I'm not okay and you, right away, you will address that.
Speaker 1:What's going on right now? That's because we're emotionally connected.
Speaker 2:We're emotionally connected and, like I said, that emotional connection will strengthen your sexual relationship and your physical intimacy and physical intimacy will also strengthen emotional bonds, so that's something we'll get more into um future in future episodes but that makes our top three for sure. And having a relationship that stays connected because you know, being married 26 years, you need to be tight yeah, so let's go over those one more time.
Speaker 1:Number one was become a master communicator, slash listener. Number two was having a team mindset team. And number three was emotional and physical intimacy.
Speaker 2:Huge, huge for connection in a relationship and longevity.
Speaker 1:We want to hear from you. Um, what did we leave out? Is there anything that you guys think should have been on that top three list? Uh, do you have a comment? Drop us a message on the social media platforms, uh, or you can email Tanisha at cynicmeetssunshinecom Not Andre, because I don't want to hear from you guys, but she loves to hear and interact with you guys.
Speaker 2:I will respond. She'll respond. You can also hit us up on Instagram. Yeah, cynic Meets Sunshine. Yes, dm us there. Andre and I both answer messages on that page. Also. Comment youtube yes, comments welcome to our channel.
Speaker 1:Yes, welcome.
Speaker 2:Please like and subscribe um tell a friend yes, yes, spread the word, but honestly, we want you to be involved. That's the fun of this to me, is I want to answer your questions. Do you guys want to know stuff about us? Do you want to hear more of our stories? Do you guys want our advice or our perspective on certain topics?
Speaker 1:I would love to have like a segment where we go over from the analytical versus the emotional side of it, but we need content. I love that.
Speaker 2:So I love that actually. That's something that when we were saying we would integrate. Like Cynic meets Sunshine, the realist and optimist of you, you know. Also, when you guys send in questions, it's kind of cool because when my friends will ask me for advice and I'll involve Andre sometimes.
Speaker 2:I'll involve Andre sometimes, because it's helpful to get a male perspective on these things and a female perspective on these things, and now we can kind of also give you the optimist and realist, and it's really helpful when you have those two different point of views. It's really helpful balancing.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right, wouldn't you agree?
Speaker 1:We do a good job of balancing. You have made me much softer. The thing about younger Andre was, I was just hard, just just rough around the edges and, uh, being with you has definitely softened me up and, uh, you were gullible, I felt like I needed to save you.
Speaker 2:You. I was so naive, trusting y'all, just, oh man. I thought everybody had good intentions.
Speaker 1:I thought because you hadn't good intentions so you just assumed, everyone else had good intentions and that was not the case.
Speaker 2:we learned, learned that we definitely learned that, and you also have balanced me there, so it is very beneficial to have both of those in your life, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, thanks for joining us on our very first episode. This is amazing, we are excited to get this journey started and thank you. We need to say this, and we will say this time and time again, though, Jump in.
Speaker 2:We want to hear from you.
Speaker 1:Yes, we want audience engagement, so please, Shoot us those messages.
Speaker 2:Shoot us a message. Don't be scared. Drop us a line, all right.
Speaker 1:What are we talking about next time?
Speaker 2:Oh, yes, so we are going to talk about conflict and connection in our next episode how to fight fair Like.
Speaker 1:I love it and come out strong, and come out stronger, because what?
Speaker 2:couple doesn't get into arguments fights. I hope everybody.
Speaker 1:Hello.
Speaker 2:So I love this because that's a goal right. I don't want to have a fight with my partner. That's like taking us out for three days. Let's learn how to fight fair. Let's learn how to stay connected and not tear the relationship apart in these conflicts. Yeah, okay, so stay tuned, send us some messages.
Speaker 1:Thanks for joining.
Speaker 2:Yes, talk to y'all later. Bye, bye, bye.
